my heart-shaped box

Two Years

2010-02-28T20:29:00.000-08:00

March 2010
Baang Coffee, Tomas Morato

Two years ago, my goal was just to finish the selection process. I had no fantasy of bagging the position, although the sound of being the first home-grown employee to successfully get one of the most critical titles was tempting and enthralling. I was firm to take the application without sitting down, not because I was dying to bring home the bacon but because I was afraid to go home beaten black and blue, even though I was clueless of its consequences.

So I clacked the keyboard mercilessly, wringing my brains for an hour and a half test of creating templates and case study and unleashing presentation and analytical skills during the almost two-hour interview. That was my bloodiest Thursday - speaking eloquently and putting the best foot forward without falter were a deadly combination they almost made me expire from nose bleeding.

Three hours after saying goodbye to the interviewer came the announcement – I emerged victorious. Only then did I realise I just put myself in the prying eyes of everyone, with all my moves being watched, and all my decisions being sized up. At that time, I have known that my life would never be the same again.

My first few months were a series of rising and falling, of learning and unlearning things, of trying to live up to the expectation. When I got the chance to gain knowledge of making things work, I started picking up the pieces together and completing the puzzle. I regained my composure and gave a free rein to brilliant ideas and unwavering commitment, all of these just to meet the expectation.

But expectation is a mountain too high to climb; any missteps would lead you nowhere but to the pits of the earth. From time to time I did slide, but this paved the way for making me become familiar with the word teamwork, dedication, and respect.

Good thing all of the team members have been loyal. In times of disagreement and argument, we try to understand each other, working as one as soon as we find solutions we deem to be fit. In our day to day operations, it has become clearer that there’s a unity in diversity.

Of course it has not always been an easy ride, for ours is a road too difficult and strenuous to travel. But we find ways to manage the exhaustion, sometimes injecting fun to stick to the reality. Haggardness and happiness are what we have to breathe, to feel we are still human in the midst of graphs, analysis and audit compliance. Haggardness and happiness encapsulate my two years of being in the quality team.

Two years after clacking the keyboard to produce templates and case study and making an impression to the interviewer, my goal is now beyond processes.

Should've Been

2009-07-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

It should’ve been seven years now, until…

You walked leisurely that afternoon as if you didn’t have anything to do. I knew you had an important engagement because clearly jotted on our shared planner was a red cross on this date. You insisted me on keeping this planner, on always referring to this planner, because between the two of us, it was me who had the tendency to forget.

That’s how you wanted our lives be – simple yet calculated, organised, systematic. Up to know I still could not fathom your definition of these words, for I have been putting up with a world full of complications and uncertainties. Maybe, it’s because I was raised to view the beauty and madness of life through words, while you grew wrestling with it through mathematical equations.

As you drew closer, I understood why you chose to walk at that pace.

I singed my lungs with another stick of Marlboro, unconscious of the blot I created on the red mark on the planner. You passed by the tree we chose to stay whenever we got hold of a time we were deprived of. It was you who picked this tree out of hundreds that queued like a battalion of police during rallies, for, as you mentioned, we had to steer clear of the prying eyes of our bosses who considered what we were doing “underground.”

I knew you remember this tree bore witness to how we put the pieces together to weave our dreams, mixing up letters and dictionary with numbers and calculator. It started with your smile, which encapsulated everything you wanted to crop up. You were a man of a few words; it didn’t take an oratorical piece (which you are good at) to deliver your messages - your eyes spoke louder than your mouth.

After several minutes of looking at the tree, you lighted up the cigarette and proceeded to Vinzons Hill where I was sitting uncomfortably. Shiver started to slither through my system, for it was very seldom that you smoke.

It became clearer to me why your brisk walk, which you were known for (aside from a lot of things) suddenly changed.

You looked tired, even with your new haircut. A week prior to this meeting, you suddenly went mad when I laughed upon seeing your new cut. Carrying your bag full of mathematical/statistical tools I did not recognise, you hauled me at the parlor and made me direct to the hairdresser what your look should be. I never told you that you looked good whatever your hair style is, it was just I preferred you to look like a rockstar with an unkempt hair than a weakling member of a boy band.

You never grew tired of using the pair of shoes that was identical to mine; even it’s obvious it started to look worn out. From the trendy shoes that you wore alternately every day, you settled on using the brown Adidas you saw me wearing during a ManCom. You gave me a brown watch I was salivating after, only to find out it matched with your Timex. Y

our slowness could not be denied, it was as if you were carrying all the angst of the world. The moon started to surface, being chased by Polaris.

Polaris, I could still recall how important it was to us. During my three-month excursion somewhere in Bicol, I was able to maintain my sanity by just looking at the North Star. You said all I needed was to take a peek of the star. I religiously did, without knowing that that was what you did to make your mind intact while I was away.

Finally, you sat beside me still puffing the Marlboro menthol. For the first time, you did not call my attention for burning my lungs to a crisp. The usual sermon on the death by smoking and on helping multinational corporations become richer by smoking unexpectedly broke off, eclipsed by the silence that was more deafening than the chant during the UP Budget Cut rally.

The night was ideal to play hide and seek with our bosses. Nights such as this we usually raced together until we reached our final destination. You touched me, I was ready to run.

Instead you held my hand tightly. You looked straight at me and smiled. It was followed by a tear which launched a thousand Atomic bombs inside me. You did not say a word at all. You just reached for my cheeks, and set off.

My heart was far more devastated than Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I clasped the planner firmly with the red mark on that date already unrecognisable, washed away by gallons of tears oozing out of my tired eyes.

When I regained my composure, I placed the planner to where you sat and watched it reduced into ashes.

History Revisited

2009-04-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

11 April 2009
Tomas Morato
Quezon City

In a small secluded site in Makati, 13 maharlikas silently gathered around to make an accord, while the downtown Manila was in its usual fashion of making both ends meet. Under the scorching heat of March, they were firm to their resolve to go along the course of feat. Though vision was still hazy, one thing was sure – they were out to make a difference. Armed with a little knowledge and with a big heart, they started to unleash the limited but extraordinary power they have, under their chain-smoking, yet very able leader.

For these maharlikas, failure was never an option; so they worked their ass off to put the glory to the republic they envisioned. Soon, they realised everything was falling into place, even without their erstwhile leader who chose to leave them.

The tribe increased exponentially, with the addition of four batches of maharlikas who had similar vision and mission in life. Even if differences cropped up from time to time, the entire tribe was able to work on together to continue what was started. The small tribe soon blossomed to make a name out of their idealism, and instantly became the apple of the eye of the gods and goddesses.

As with the other tribe, the budding republic was also stricken by plague – known as PIP – which cut a swathe through half of the population. Instead of being cast down, the maharlikas picked the pieces together and renewed their vows of making a difference. This was the time when the republic was piloted by a pseudo-leader who fancied himself of a rastaman or of Bob Marley, spending more time in the parlor to ensure his dreads were still in perfect shape than in his station cramming for the performance deck.

For several months, since Mr. Rastaman was preoccupied with how to perfect his dreads, there was no eye watching every move of the tribe, so the maharlikas were free to do whatever they wanted. They friendstered and weboggled until their eyes popped out, alternately doing eggroll or answering quizzes which in no way connected to their work. They pictured themselves as cast of That’s Entertainment or stars of Kapamilya. To everyone’s surprise, this paved the way to the creation of sub-tribes and to other line of work.

Like the first leader, Mr. Rastaman also left the group. This did not at all surprise the tribe, as they deserved someone with a sharper brain, stronger guts and bigger balls. Until Mr. Dictator came along.

During this time, most of the original members of the tribe were given bigger responsibilities. Still tightly sticking to the commitment, they worked together to bring a brand new leadership. They were the new breed of leaders the gods and goddesses molded them to. However, they were shocked by the way Mr. Dictator wanted them to be. This difference created hubbub across all sub-tribes, which led to the resignation of the key persons whose love, dedication and sense of ownership for the tribe could hardly rivaled.

But the tribe kept on going, exerting themselves too much effort. They never got tired, because for them, they were doing everything for the love of the republic they put up. Soon, another tribe flowered, courtesy of the all-green performance of the original tribe. Much to the relief of the tribe, the dictator focused on the new tribe as it was totally different from how the original tribe has worked. This gave way to a series of reflection, which brought the tribe back to how it was working without the guidance of any external forces.

The freedom however was short-lived. While the tribe was on track again of reaping green smileys and numbers, an alien from Indiaputra invaded the place who has thought of himself as the knight in shining armor. From the simple structure, he moved the world of the tribe upside down, placing layers of responsibilities to the maharlikas who were already drowned to piles of undertaking.

The maharlikas were all became alipins of the alien out of the blue, the tribe developed into serfdom. The freedom and contentment were taken away from them. Every move was calculated, every output measured based on the paradigm designed by the alien. Rules and regulations were implemented without consulting the maharlikas, breaking them would mean expulsion to the tribe. The land the maharlikas were tilling and toiling turned into barren and arid, with the once all-green smileys and figures becoming bloody red.

Soon, the prolific civilization turned into nothing but a black hole. Population became worn and torn. All of these miscalculations and major lapses were being blamed to maharlikas, whose voices have become unheard of as soon as the alien arrived.

The tribe is currently struggling to go back to where it should have been. But the alien still persists, adamant on insisting on his version of “right thing to do.” Day in day out, more and more maharlikas have rapidly become despondent to where their well-loved tribe is leading to. However, they are resolved to cling to their commitment.

They are out to rip up the root cause that has become the quandary of the growth of the tribe. They know that in the near future, they would regain the freedom they have been fighting for.

With A Smile

2009-04-11T04:21:00.000-07:00

05 April 2009
Tomas Morato
Quezon City

Dear Always Smiling,

You greeted us with a smile that was full of hope and verve about a year ago. You flashed it as if it could launch a thousand ships and could materialise every hope we are pining for. Easily, we have gotten carried away, as this was what we were seeking out for two years; a smile that made us to believe would change the fate of our account.

This would be the same smile that would definitely painted on your face on Monday, when you would learn that my dear friend for three momentous, historical years would submit his resignation letter. Your sweet smile cannot disprove the fact that you would be celebrating, no matter how you try to appear as a victim of a crime you have actually committed and pulled off.

You have always tried to act as an innocent, even if your only purpose is to mess up everything that we have painstakingly built out of our idealism on how to run this industry. You’re a master of looking above suspicion, courtesy of your smile that can cover up everything you have in mind.

You have categorically denied us of the fruits of our labour, have never given any importance to roles we have played and mastered for three years. For you, ours is a style that is already passé, our idea already outmoded.

We have never complained about that for the longest time, even though we have known you are playing a dangerous game. We know we are flexible, so we have welcomed all the possibilities you have instilled us to be working, in the guise of Six Sigma and other call centre patois. We have thought you were better than our previous boss, because you were very approachable, and you made us smile. You have pretended to be the hope of this account, in your hands is our future.

We have entertained your notion, and version of leadership, management, call centre, sense of responsibility and ownership. We have tried to emulate you, because you have wanted us to be cloned to how you work.

It is still fresh to me when you said that our team is like a Stalin’s horse. Amid the thick of the agents, you told me in full blast that while we have freedom to roam around, our team’s vision is only one-dimensional or two-dimensional, perhaps to make the blow softer. You said we have a narrow horizon. I have just shrugged my shoulder then, because it was a feedback from our internal client, even if it seemed very subjective.

I can still recall how you looked like the time you have shouted at me when I have tried to reason out in behalf of our team during a meeting to iron the brewing tension out in the account. Rather than listening, you have opted to call for kicking me out of the team, because for you, I am not a good leader for I am very emotional, although I was just trying to salvage and uplift the morale and drive of the quality specialists that were going directly down to drain. You have put the blame on our transfer to our current site, as you believe that the friction has just appeared during the relocation.

Not satisfied with my firm resolution to stay, you have talked to agents to survey if they could replace me as the Quality Supervisor. For you, they are better than the way I perform. You have even informed the client about that during one of the business reviews, in front of my colleagues I have worked with for three years. I have never groused about that.

Most of the time, you have bypassed me, pulling out the Quality Specialists in the middle of performing their primary tasks. You did not hear any complaints from us even if we have always been subjected to escalation, because you were just taking ownership of this account.

When we are able to do something good, to produce something that has a sense, that has a huge impact to the entire account, we have never received any pat on our shoulders. Maybe, you’re just a perfectionist. That’s why, we have never expected any commendations from you, for you have instilled us that our work is mediocre compared to what you have accomplished.

For you, we are doing no good. For you, everything we are doing is but futile.

Thanks to you, our team has become somewhat robotic. We are trying to cover it up in our mantra “for the love of eBay UK,” even if this has only meant for your satisfaction. We have tried to forget everything that has happened, withstand the barrage of nuclear insults and the onslaught of unending criticisms, which are packaged as an objective feedback. But you have never taught us what to do.

Now, the wind has suddenly blown into different direction. You are wearing a totally different shade of smile. We have realised that to you, even the Ops people are doing nothing, even if you see how some of them have tried to turn the world upside down, just to please you, just to make a difference.
You have resorted to lambasting us one by one, lashing your sharp tongue to anyone you have just thought as an expense to the company. Even to my friends, who have stood by you during your darkest moments.

You were smiling when you have given us 30 days to make all queues green. You said it’s a matter of life and death for us. But how about you?

I would like to remind you, it was during your time, when you were directly handling the account, that these queues became not only red but bloody red. Do not try to argue with me, I have a copy of all pertinent data in my PC.I have once blamed my team for this, more so myself, for this was the first time this happened. I have acquitted you of this even if you had a direct hand on the queues, because I have believed you were good, because you could still smile despite everything.

Unlike me who you have hated deep into your bones, my friends have never bothered to answer back to you. They are far more objective, trying to understand every single mistake you have incurred. Instead of giving back something they deserve, you have exploited them, until they have decided one by one to just leave the account they have taken care of for a long time.

I have realised that after all, I am right. You are no saviour.

Now, another great person would leave the company because of you. What tactics you would want to employ against the person? I have heard you are opted to do the dirty tactics, even trying rumor-mongering just to save your ass, just to get what you want.

It’s about time to pack up your bags now, AS. It’s your time to go. Do not be pretentious anymore; we have borne the brunt of your incapacity and we have suffered a lot. If something has gone wrong, you would easily point your fingers to our team, or to others you think are vulnerable and tame. It could not be you, because you are good, because you are the only one who is thinking creatively and innovatively in the team, for the team.

Sorry but we have already discovered your modus operandi. Do not try to cover your ass, because in your entire stay here, we have not seen nor felt any improvements at all. Your promises are empty, you actions very doubtful.

You have to go now and bring your fake smile with you; otherwise, everything would be too late.

Work Stoppage

2009-04-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

o5 April 2009
Tomas Morato
Quezon City

Temporarily, I’ve stopped writing. The decision is piercing - I have been craving to weave words for the longest time. It’s like turning back to something that is already within your reach. Or depriving yourself of something you have been hungering after without a break. For a moment, it has caused to break the masochistic surface in me.

But the judgment is a necessity, the verdict final. I can’t go on writing without giving fair dealing to words and metaphors and allegories. It’s all about upholding justice to any prose I am carving; it is a matter of integrity.

While writing for others is just clacking away vowels and consonants from their keyboards, it is a painstaking and scrupulous piece of art to me. Most of the time, it takes me three hours before I put 30 at the end of every article I write, for I would not stop from poring over word over word until they have complied with my taste. It is a vicious cycle of butchering my brain until it has hemorrhaged, tiring my eyes of rummaging around apt words, and going back to base one to check if the article has a sense at all.

Writing is my last resort – to bring me back to reality, to keep me sane. When I’m down in the dumps, I make sure to put everything into paper, without missing a detail, for I believe it is capturing history. It is my own version of photography. It is the thing I am looking after when I am lost (particularly in work), when I am submerged to haggardness, when I am haunted by the spectre of weariness.

I have written numerous articles, but I have settled on bringing them to a standstill as they are not sufficient to raise even a single strand of my hair. They are not up to snuff to exceed my first criteria – the sense of impartiality to all concern. They could be a disgrace to the writing community.

These are the reasons why I hibernate from my pen and paper. These are the very same reasons why PWB – Pseudo-Writer Block – keeps on floating up in my brain. I have no idea when I would start to write again. But since I am in a limbo of being sad and not in my work, I have no choice but to go back to jotting down a piece of crap.

Why Mike Arroyo is not Jesus Christ

2009-03-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

There's The Rub
Why Mike Arroyo is not Jesus Christ

By Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
02/16/2009

HIS enemies want to kill him by making him appear in the Senate hearing in his fragile state, says Mike Arroyo. (Which makes his enemies out to be patriots in the eyes of the public, but that’s another story.) He says further that having been named in one scam after another doesn’t make him monumentally corrupt, it makes him monumentally persecuted. When his wife took on that tack, a congressman ventured to say that his wife was just like Jesus Christ. Without waiting for another congressman to say the same thing about him, I hasten to write this piece.

Mike Arroyo is not Jesus Christ because:

JC is the Second Person in the Holy Trinity. FG is the First Gentleman in the Unholy Couple. JC’s riches are not of this earth. FG’s riches are out of this world. When JC was born, a bright star shone in the sky, and the Three Wise Men followed it offering gold, frankincense and myrrh to the newborn. When FG was born—or so the rumor goes—the skies dimmed and the Three Wise Men wrapped their gold, frankincense and myrrh in sackcloth and hid it in a deep well.

JC told his disciples, “Leave all your possessions and follow me.” FG tells his countrymen, “Leave all your possessions.” Before JC began his public life, he went to the desert to fast, and there he was offered by the Devil all sorts of temptations, all of which he refused, rebuking the Tempter, “Be gone from me, accursed one.” Before FG began his public life, he went to the Nevada desert to live fast and there was offered by the Devil all sorts of temptations. I for one refuse to believe the canard that he replied, “Ain’t enough.” If Joey de Venecia is to be believed though, FG has his own version of “Be gone from me, accursed one,” which is, “Back off!”

When JC saw the temple invaded by all sorts of merchants and hustlers, he became furious and flailed at them, shouting, “My temple is a house of prayer, but you have made it into a den of thieves!” When FG saw Jun Lozada testifying at the Senate, he became furious and railed at him, shouting, “My temple is—feel free to supply what you think it is—but you have made it into a house of prayer!”

JC said “Give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God’s what is God’s.” FG says, “Give unto me what is mine and to Pidal what is Pidal’s.”

JC had by his side to comfort him Mary Magdalene, a woman who might or might not have been retired from the world’s oldest profession but who possessed a heart of gold. FG has by his side Miriam Santiago, a woman still actively engaged in the world’s oldest profession (lawmaking of course, what did you think?) and who possesses a heart that ticks violently like a Geiger counter when it senses gold.

When JC entered Jerusalem, the people lined his path waving palm fronds and shouting joyously, “Hosanna! Hosanna!” Before FG announced he wasn’t attending the hearing, people were lining up his path to the Senate, their shoes untied, preparing to throw them in his direction shouting, “Here’s your welcome kiss, you dog!” JC was betrayed by Judas Iscariot for 30 pieces of silver. FG is protected by Congress for more than 30 pieces of silver, taking into account inflation over the last two thousand and nine years.

When JC was arrested, his best apostle, Peter, denied him three times, saying “I do not know this man.” He was vastly sorry afterward and went on to become a martyr. When FG was accused, his best apostle, JPE, who denied Erap three times when he was arrested, recognized him three times, saying, “I know this man, he is the husband of the woman I once goaded the Erap crowd to sugod sugod” (repeat three times). JPE was never sorry afterward and went on to become richer.

When JC was brought before Pilate, Pilate washed his hands clean, telling the crowd, “You be the judge of this man.” Even before FG was brought before Miriam, Miriam washed her hands clean, telling the crowd, “This man is innocent.” When Pilate asked the Jews to choose whom to save, Barrabas, a known thief, and JC, an innocent man, the crowd chose Barrabas. If a judge ever asks the Filipinos to choose whom to save, Lozada, a penitent man, and FG, use your imagination, the Filipinos will choose, well, they’re not beyond being bought. For nailing down JC to the Cross, the Jews were condemned by heaven to wander the face of the earth. For refusing to nail down FG—and GMA, and before them FM and FVR and Erap—to the Cross, the Filipinos have condemned themselves to wander the face of the earth.

JC was crucified between two thieves. FG will be crucified between two honest men.
Breathing his last on the Cross, JC cried out loud, “Consummatum est, it is done.” Breathing his first outside the Senate, FG laughs out loud, “Ayos na, it is done.” JC died and was buried; on the third day, he rose from the dead and ascended into heaven. FG was taken ill and brought to St. Luke’s; on the third week, he rose from his bed, in which direction he went I leave the reader to divine. JC left the care of his truth to the epistlers, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, making them the bedrock of revelation. FG leaves the care of his truth to Miriam, Joker and Juan, making them the fountainhead of obfuscation.

Though innocent, JC took upon himself all the world’s sins and thereby saved humankind from divine retribution. Proclaiming himself innocent, FG has put all the blame on the world, thereby saving his hide from worldly prosecution—for the time being.

JC was lean and mean, so to speak. FG is not very lean and, well, I leave the De Venecias, father and son, to speak the rest.

Taster's Choice

2008-12-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

28 December 2008
Tomas Morato

December brings out nostalgia. We are forced to assess what we have become in the past months and try to see what’s in store for us next year.

In a limbo between being drippy and ecstatic, I’ve pulled my portable DVD out of the closet and started to view one of the most memorable films I’ve ever seen. Amid the explosion and blast, I’ve found myself finishing a movie review of A Matter of Taste.

A Matter of Taste [Une Affaire de Gout]

Not for everyone’s taste but Une Affaire de Gout is an excellent film. Released in 26 April, 2000 under the direction of Bernard Rapp, this movie is unconventional and un-Hollywood. Thanks to Rapp’s experience as a journalist, he shuns away from too much drama and focuses on the lives of the characters in a very straightforward yet descriptive manner.

The story revolves around the friendship of Nicolas Riviere (Jean-Pierre Lorit), a young, good-looking waiter who has an exceptional talent in piano, and who has the most beautiful fingers Frederic Delamont (Bernard Giraudeau), a wealthy, middle-aged businessman and a bon vivant, has ever seen.

Smitten by Nicolas’ charm, Frederic offers a lucrative job Nicolas could not turn down – a personal food taster. Soon, Nicolas finds himself enjoying the job he once thought he won’t get used to. However, the friendship that has arisen between the two of them spirals downward into deceit and obsession neither of them are prepared.

The movie showcases the sensational portrayal of Giraudeau, who sucks up everything whenever he goes on screen. His powerful eyes and the very commanding voice leave his co-actors, and the audience completely mesmerised. Throughout the show, he never fails to stand out, always reminding everyone that he is the star of this show.

The movie is unconventional and bold, breaking in a matter in hand directors eschew in the spirit of money.

The Day Tyra Arrives

2008-12-06T23:07:00.000-08:00

06 december, 2008

Tomas Morato

Amid the queues of party girls out to outdo themselves by applying several layers of make up on their faces already abounding in colours, I am battling with the feeling of unease that has started to creep into my synapses in a sporadic manner. Thanks to two cups of coffee and several sticks of Marlboro which keep on pushing me back to the real world, and which pave the way to the feeling of fulfillment and the sense of satisfaction.

Today, December 06, 2008, Tyra has become a dream come true. She is now officially part of the family. Her birth signifies another chapter of my life, which entails a handful of responsibilities.

For so long a time, I had dreamt the impossible dream. Tyra had been so elusive. Time and again, I had dismissed the idea of conceiving her. But the longing had been growing, and lurking in the deepest, darkest pits of my mind was the hope that time would come I would be able to finally feel her warmth.

But the universe is good to me; it conspires in helping me achieve what I want. I know that from time to time challenges would come but I am resolved to the highest level that I would flex all my muscle to ensure that Tyra would always be in good hands. Truly, good things happen to other aspect of your life when the other started to wane, let’s say work.

So from now on, my world would be revolving around Tyra, for my future would be with her. I know each day would become meaningful with Tyra. Don’t mind the work, it’s not worth the concentration; it won’t get any better anyway.

Wag Kang Matakot, Andito lang Kami

2008-10-19T00:34:00.000-07:00

Tomas Morato,
18 October 2008

I've been itching to write these past days. My blogs have metamorphosed into vacuum they've already developed into a spectre that have been chasing me every now and then, drilling into my head that I've once again broken my pledge not to miss every opportunity to write.

I always think that my failure to update my blogs is due to a hectic schedule, a very lame alibi as even before I was born, the time is already stuffed in 24 hours. Probably, this only mirrors my ineffectiveness in managing my time and my tasks.

After revisiting some of my friends' blogs, a link steamrolled me into time-capsule. Deprived of strength, I anxiously conceded to the force which was heightened by the backdrop of a bleak Sunday afternoon tainted by the smoke of coffee and cigarette. Here's the article of Kenneth, a friend back in UP days, centered on nostalgia to the highest level.

MINSAN, ERASERHEADS

Napanaginipan ko sila noong nakaraang linggo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Sa panaginip, pumasok ako sa isang lumang bahay na gawa sa kahoy. Kulay orange ang ilaw. Nadatnan ko sa unang palapag si Ely Buendia. Sa ikalawa, si Buddy Zabala. Sa panghuling palapag, nakatanguan si Raimund Marasigan. Hindi ko maintindihan – hindi naman ako excited sa papalapit noong konsiyerto nila. Hindi ko naisip na manood. Pero nasa panaginip ko sila – maliban na lamang kay Marcus Adoro, ewan ko kung bakit – na ibig sabihi’y nasa laylayan ng kamalayan ko ang Eraserheads.

Siyempre, napanood at nabasa ko ang hinggil sa mga nangyari sa konsiyerto. Nakita ko sa telebisyon ang fans. Nakakuwentuhan ang mga kakilalang nanood. Parang reunion, sabi ng isa, hindi lang ng banda kundi ng isang henerasyon. May mga trabaho na, ang iba may pamilya na (dalawang kuwento mula sa konsiyerto: ang isang kakilala, si E, kasama ang asawa at mga kaedad na magpipinsan; ang isa pang kakilala, si J, pinambili ng tiket nilang mag-asawa ang perang dapat gagamitin sa bakuna ng anak). Kaya nang bumili ng relatibong mamahaling tiket. Kung dati, nang mga estudyante pa lamang kami, nagkakasya na sa hiraman ng tapes at pagpuslit papasok sa UP Fair, ngayon, kahit papaano, napagbibigyan na ang hilig. Better late than never.

Reunion nga, at wala ako doon. Sayang. Binalikan ko sa mp3 ang musika ng Eraserheads. Mula sa ultraelectromagneticpop! hanggang sa Carbon Stereoxide. Nasa Circus pa lamang ako – pasakay ng MRT tatlong araw na ang nakararaan – nang bumulaga sa akin ang realisasyon: Oo nga pala, fan nga pala ako nila. Kinalimutan ko na. Naalala ko ang isang kaibigan noong 1995, galit na galit siya sa Eraserheads, nakokornihan, at naiinis sa mga freshmen na ang unang tanong sa kanya’y kung saan makikita ang pinakasikat na banda ng UP. Para mapanatili ang pagkakaibigan, hindi na namin pinag-uusapan ang Eraserheads. Mas gusto raw niya ang Yano. Noong tagal, nahumaling kay Cynthia Alexander.

Pero fan nga pala ako. Parang kinimkim na emosyong bumulwak mula sa akin ang realisasyong ito pagdating ko sa kantang Minsan. Nasa masikip na tren ng MRT ako. Naluha ako. At hindi lang dahil tulad ng persona sa kanta, minsan akong tumira sa Kalayaan Residence Hall. Naluha ako dahil naalala ko ang panahong ito, ang pagkabata, ang pagkamulat. Taong 1994-95, sariwang sariwa, mula sa probinsiya. Wide-eyed freshie na tuwang tuwa na nakatuntong ng UP. Mababaw ang kaligayahan. Sangkatutak ang insecurities. Tinatagyawat. Kahit noon, nagtataka na ako sa kantang ito: Para naman yata ambilis tumanda ng mga ito. Nagno-nostalgia trip, para namang dekada na mula nang umalis sila ng pamantasan.

Pero kinausap ako ng kantang ito. At ng iba pa nilang kanta. Wishing Wells, Alapaap, kahit Huling El Bimbo – panay pagbabalik sa nakaraan ng persona. Pinaalala ng mga ito kung paano ako mag-isip noong panahong iyon, kung paano ko dinamdam ang mga kaganapan sa buhay. Naluha ako dahil naramdaman ko ang paglipas ng panahon. Naramdaman kong tumanda na ako, at nagbago na ang pananaw ko sa mundo. Naging seryoso ang mga pinagkakaabalahan: pulitika, pagsusulat, sining, aktibismo. Nakalulungkot na kinailangang kalimutan ko ang payak at simplistikong mundo ng pagkabata para maging pulitikal na tao. Naluha ako sa paglipas ng panahon, sa henerasyon ko at sa trivial, maliit, makitid na mundo nito.

Tinitingnan ko ang mga footage sa TV ng konsiyerto at naisip ko: pareho pa rin ang hitsura nila, parang hindi tumanda. Si Ely lang, pumayat. Siguro dahil sa sakit niya noong nakaraang taon. O dahil siya ang pinakaunang tumanda sa grupo. Sa pagsulat niya ng mga kantang tulad ng Minsan, Huling El Bimbo, Para sa Masa, parang siya ang pinakaunang nakaramdam ng paglipas ng panahon, ng pagbabalik-tanaw sa nakaraan at pag-aakalang mas maganda ang anumang nakaraan kaysa sa kasalukuyan. Masaya ang buhay-banda – epitomiya na siguro ito ng pagkabata. Naalala ko ang isang linya sa pelikula ni Cameron Crowe: sabi ng isang karakter, “Hindi ba pumasok tayo sa banda para iwasan ang responsibilidad?” Nasa banda raw ang karakter para pansamantalang ihinto ang orasan, at manatiling bata – juvenile, nakatira sa mundo ng “Rock n’ roll Neverland.“

Pero si Ely – siya na siguro ang unang kumawala sa Neverland. Siya ang unang kumalas sa banda, habang ang naiwang tatlo sinubukan pang palitan siya ng babaing bokalista pero di nagtagumpay. Nagpalagay ng brace sa ngipin, nagpagupit, nagbihis-burgis (nakita ko sa YouTube ang bidyo na ito na panauhin si Ely sa talk show ni Martin Nievera matapos tumiwalag sa ’Heads). Di nagtagal, nagtatag ng bagong banda (Mongols, saka Pupil), pero di na bumalik sa moda ng ’Heads – tila mas seryoso na ang pagiging musikerong artist, hindi na pinangarap na maging popular o populista (Ikumpara, halimbawa, kay Raimund, na kinakantahan pa ang Betamax hanggang ngayon). Wala nang hihigit pang patunay ng napakaagang pagtanda ni Ely sa tila napaagang pagkakasakit niya sa isang karamdamang madalas na naiuugnay natin sa katandaan – sakit sa puso.

Usap-usapang mauulit daw ang reunion concert. Pero tingin ko, hindi na dapat. Sapat na ang isang gabing nostalgia trip – hindi lamang sa musika ng isang henerasyon, kundi sa naglipas na sensibilidad at angas ng henerasyong ito. Tumitindi na ang krisis. Sobrang mahal na ng mga bilihin sa tindahan ni Aling Nena, laluna sa CASAA. Nagmahal na pati ang isaw sa tapat ng Ilang-Ilang. Nag-abroad na si Shirley (sana hindi siya mapabilang sa mga OFW na bumabalik sa bansa sa kahon). Nagbenta ng katawan sa magasin ang dating crush ni Ely. Hindi lang bugbog — pinapatay pa — ang inaabot ng mga bading na tulad ni Jay. Nasagasaan sa madilim na eskinita yung kamukha ni Paraluman.

Aktibista noon sa UP yung kaibigan kong galit na galit sa Eraserheads. Inisip ko noon, galit siya baka dahil wala siyang maaninag na pulitika sa musika ng banda. Maliban siguro sa pag-anyaya ni Raimund sa kalalakihang estudyante na tumiwalag, sumapi sa NPA at “palayain ang sarili,” at isang pagkakatong tumugtog sila sa isang rali kontra komersiyalisasyon sa UP noong 1996, iwas-pulitika at iwas-aktibismo ang Eraserheads. Sa isang pamantasang pinaniniwalaang may mayamang tradisyon ng aktibismo, hindi nila naiwasang makasalamuha at makaibigan ang mga aktibista (Dalawang ehemplo: si Bomen Guillermo ang pinakaunang kritikong nagpasikat sa banda, nang magsulat si Bomen ng rebyu ng demo tape nila para sa Philippine Collegian; at, noong 1998, naka-housemates ni Buddy sa Teachers’ Village ang ilang lider-estudyanteng aktibista. At, isa pa pala: Nag-opening act sa launch concert ng Cutterpillow ang bandang The Jerks, na sa kabila ng mga “boo” ay nag-alay ng kanta noong gabi para sa Pandaigdigang Araw ng Karapatang Pantao). Pero liban doon, banda lang talaga ang Eraserheads. Bandang masaya, magaling, henyo pa nga. Pero banda lang talaga.

Ganyan din ang sinabi ni John Lennon nang tanungin siya kung ano ang tingin niya sa penomenon ng Beatles ilang taon matapos magkanya-kanya sila: “We were just a band…” Aktibista na noon si John Lennon. Nagmartsa siya kasama ang mga Amerikano para labanan ang giyera sa Vietnam. Nagpahayag siya ng pagpabor sa sosyalismo. Naging anthem ng kilusang kontra-giyera ang mga kanta niya. Tulad ni Ely sa ‘Heads, tila si Lennon din ang pinakaunang tumanda sa – at unang na-outgrow ang – Beatles. Pero siya ang pinakabatang namatay. Sabi ng isang interpretasyon sa pagkahumaling ng assassin niya sa librong Catcher in the Rye, pinatay daw ng assassin si Lennon para manatiling inosente’t bata, parang yung karakter na kapatid ni Holden Caulfield na “catcher in the rye.”

Buhay pa naman si Ely, pero tumatanda na silang apat. At ang musika nila, nagiging instrumento ng gunita, ng pagbabalik-tanaw sa isang henerasyon, isang sensibilidad na naglaho na. Pero may panahon pa, para sa mga pahayag na “banda lang kami noon”, para sa mga martsa, mga pagpabor at pagtutol, pag-awit ng mga anthem, at pamumuhay sa mundo at realidad natin ngayon.

what my name means

2008-05-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

03 may 2008
makati city

thanks to kim, i have something to relieve my tension-filled life today. through her kindness, i was able to locate a site that discloses my personality...hehe...

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

the survivor

2008-04-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

30 april 2008
makati city

"it’s better to burn out than fade away." – kurt cobain, 1967-1994

finally, i’m back. been buried by lots of things these past weeks i was totally asphyxiated. in fact, i was feeling i would puke every time i heard deck, csat, meeting, trends and analyses. these call centre higher ups patois cached me from seeing sunlight i almost believed i was interred six feet under. good thing chika surged like raging lava; otherwise, i would definitely end up cockscrewing my dandruff-clinging hair like a true blue nuts.

too morbid is my description because it really was. no other description is more apt. no hyperbolism. when i said "battles are my business," it did not occur to me that i would sweat bullets and canon balls in braving them.

this is far different from the usual hell weeks in college days. this was a matter of life and death...and surviving. for the first time, i was able to do an analysis, which was to be sent directly to client, in 20 minutes. this was on top of the deck that was to be sent to general manager and that entailed a series of focus group discussions and brow-knitting and mind-wringing. and again, on top of seminars and training i had to undergo.

and i survived. i can smile now because i am able to spend more than 3 hours of sleep. my skype status is already changed from "do not disturb" to "available", which means i am free to unleash my power to chika once more. i consider it right timing as a lot of changes, updates, transformations and metamorphoses have just taken place.

it’s better not to delve too much into negativity. the fact is, i survived. these past weeks too, my friend ayin introduced this positive thinking thing with the gist revolving around seeing things in rose coloured glasses. though skeptical at first, ayin was able to bring me around in trying this. anyway, wala namang mawawala sa akin.

so there goes my haggard days, the flow part of the vicious cycle of ebb and flow. now, it’s my turn to go back to sipping banana daiquiris atop of banana boat.

first call

2008-04-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

21 april 2008
makati city

Good thing Ayin was still there. Otherwise, I might have been unable to connect to Saafi and Fernando, who were waiting like a ravenous tiger ready to fall its newly edged teeth to its hapless prey.

My emotions flew like a wayward missile. This was my first time to have a call on my own, with me as the facilitator and the clients as devil’s advocates. Not until that call, I thought I could easily weave words to satisfy the ears of the clients. Though I must admit that even with my conviction that is sometimes larger than life, I was still anxious to do it. Before hearing the growl on the other line, I was at a loss I just crossed my legs to pacify my urge to pee. Worst part was that Boss Robi was sitting behind me, which would mean that I could have sermon as my side dish for my breakfast.

When I heard Saafi’s voice, I was glad I was able to regain my composure. Thanks for the script and spiels I prepared which proved to be helpful in my presentation. Then the conversation began with me a little hesitant at first. It actually ran smoothly I gained enough courage to continue and vaunt our analyses and action items; in fact, lovely, as Saafi liked the format and that they don’t have any issues with the QA team right now.

So there I was, smiling throughout the entire call while alternately flipping through my script. Lots of time I lost focus as I was engrossed in savouring their comments. Boss Robi interrupted from time to time to seek some clarification or to add up something I almost forgot to point out. During the wrap up part, Fernando and Saafi reiterated the necessity to keep a keen eye on the supervisors. I just shrugged my shoulder and gave Boss Robi a victorious look.

At exactly 7am, I heard the click on the other line. Only then was I able to breathe normally. Light discussion ensued, outlining what-to-do’s in the light of that call. But I was too busy to care anymore. So as soon as Boss Robi stepped out of the room, I immediately grabbed my bag and proceeded to somewhere I could silently celebrate my first call.

tuesday with melon

2008-04-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

16 april 2008
makati city

It is now a week delayed. And it has nothing to do with melon. It’s just I think it would look more poetic and cutie using this title. Anyway, to some extent, it would matter as I just doused the Tuesday afternoon heat wave away with several glasses of melon shake.

My Tuesday afternoon was not in its usual boring fashion. I woke up early (in my ordinary days, getting out of bed at 11am is record-breaking) and tried to brush off the cobweb that had been lodging in my gray matter for the longest time. Playing on the background were the early 90’s songs from women-led bands (Hole, the Cranberries, 10,000 Maniacs and Moonpools and Caterpillar), I couldn’t help looking back when I was romantically-attached to everything surrounding me. I was flammable by then, which made me explode and swell at no exact point in time.

Songs of grunge bands, Eraserheads and women-led bands encapsulate my mood in my juvenile years – a tug of war between being angst-ridden and dreamy, almost chimerical. This is the era of being "cool," the household word at that time it had already lost its meaning and sense. If I would be asked what made me cool at that time, I would definitely cite my engrossment to the bands with women as the vocalists, more than the Tretorn, loose tuck in, date with whoever were the coolest guys and gals on campus and Penshoppe.

Around that time, I was a hopeless romantic trying hard writer, oozing with "I hate myself I wanna die" attitude as it was a compulsory for soon-to-be English major and pa-literati crowd. With our throat alternately sucking up black smoke of Marlboro and black coffee, it was a de rigueur for us, pseudo-quasi-semi writers, to write heart-wrenching short story over ear-splitting Jeremy or Smells like Teen Spirit. This only shows that at that time, hearing these bands was a requirement to be cool in our crowd.

My liking on this music genre actually transcended the preference and taste and the trying to be cool. It became a part of attitude and belief. Although they’re undeniably pleasant to the ears, they do not just pierce my heart; they smash my soul into smithereens. That’s the real score on my decision to lock myself in my room when Kurt Cobain committed suicide…hehe…

It was a time-capsule experience; my mind was being rewound to the flush of life. Could’ve-beens and should’ve-beens crept through my synapses but I was too busy to care. Until Courtney Love’s voice was drowned by the alarm clock that reverberated around the room.

when carmi martin strikes back

2008-04-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

07 april 2008
makati city

after the ebb comes the bubonic plague of work. yes you’ve heard it right; i’ve been bugged by the weight of the bandwidth right now. tons of works in different shades and hues. though i have been anticipating this, it’s never occurred to my mind that it would be as bulky and burdensome as this. even if it is against my will, i have to say goodbye to sipping banana daiquiris atop of banana boat.

for the first time, i have to admit that i am now in a "culture shock." not necessarily overwhelmed but more of windang and haggardo verzosa considering i have been in the post for almost two months. changes come one after the other, from the most discerning to the most insensitive, smallest to biggest, most silent to the most blaring ways and forms and fashions. they come not in one but usually in waves, or in series. and they haunt me, dwell into my mind, drilling into my brain just like tiny monsters banging in the wall of my head with placards shouting "do it ASAP, or else…"

this is my first time to write about my work as a qa supervisor since assuming the position on the 22nd of February. but, i won’t delve too much into it as two months are too short to share my routine. i need to gain a lot of experiences and learn tons of lessons first. it's just i’ve had the urge to flesh out some part of it, hoping that this would make things a little clearer since in normal times, i would just snatch away time and attention of my friends who are wont to sucking up my haggardness while sucking up black smoke of cigarette over a cup of coffee.

i know there are more to come. i just need to jot down everything to, to the words of ming ling in the soong sister, a very brilliant and brave film, "cut the bullshit." anyway, i told my manager during my interview for this post that i always choose my battles, and i don’t take them sitting down. in a nutshell, and to make it a sound bite, "battles are my business."

in retro

2008-04-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

05 april 2008
makati city.

29 February 2008 –

my hair was still in a total mess when i received a text from a friend. with a stick of marlboro squashed in between my fingers, i eagerly read the message. it was a forwarded message: ate, kilala mo daw yung barret ng batch 10? patay na daw po.

wilbert was a classmate in high school. he was from the group of prim and proper, inversely proportional to the crowd i was associated with that was a bunch of rockers wannabe (at that time, i mean). they were the well-ironed-uniform-wearing classmates who would fit in the definition of "hot guys/gals" while we were the cool guys/gals who never cared how do we look like. despite the differences, we actually didn’t have any problems chilling out together. we were able to whip through our distinctness.

it was in the kamalig that the ties among the members of our batch started to flower. like anyone else, wilbert was a total stranger to us, further bolstered by his surname which sounded foreigner. but kamalig explored the ways to converge us, paving the way to the friendship we’ve been holding on to until this very day. until finally, we’re able to figure out each strengths and weaknesses.

i have actually been preparing to see my classmates as, during the last entry to our batch blog, it has been agreed upon that we would hold our get-together after a decade of hiatus. the last time i caught a glimpse of wilbert was when we’re obliged to clean the entire school just to get our hard-earned…good moral certificate. this was the consequence of escaping from practising graduation for a batch picnic. it’s still vivid in my memory how we plugged our asses away from sleeking the entire building, with sweats dripping like flowing on our foreheads.

up to now, it is still a puzzle to us what really took place. several stories have been in rounds, but none of them are confirmed. some assume that his death was related to his work, as he’s an engineer and some not-so-nice guys might have not liked the way wilbert dealt with them. i’ve always pictured wilbert as a boy-next-door type who’s willing to share his shoulders to be leaned on and extend hands to those who need his help. i guess he stuck to that image till a wacko put him to silence forever.

it is still hard to imagine that wilbert would be no longer with us on our get-together he planned. in memen's words, nakakalungkot.

can't afford gucci but we wear honesty*

2008-04-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

04 april 2008
makati city

like a space cadet to narcotics, i’ve been hooked to brian gorrell’s blog. more than the expose on manila’s powers-that-be in the fashion world, it is brian’s quest for honesty and integrity that strikes me. anyway, here’s a poster that appears on the blog, c/o one of his supporters.

*for more chika, go to www.delfindjmontano.blogspot.com

petiks in the time of haggardness

2008-03-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

01 april 2008
makati city

i'm having the event of my life these past days. my bosses are not in their usual "i need an analysis on the drop of satisfaction score in 5 minutes" fashion. skype has stopped blinking and the avaya phone has been sitting silently in front of me like a paper weight. my mailbox is now an hour empty, except for the occasional spams i've gladly received.

of course, this day has brought a fresh start courtesy of a new hairstyle and a new pair of shoes. at least even if i'm haggard, i could still pull it off because of this new facade. or that's what i want to think of.

well, since there's an unbelievable absence of client call, meeting with the management, complaints against the reports, clarifications on the operations supervisors, workshop and coaching with qas, i am able to tag along the trail and tale of brian gorrel. much has been said about his revelations about the "gucci gang," the group of celine lopez, tim yap, tina tinio and other socialites and its alleged freeloading activities and use of "coke," i don't think i cannot ask for more. the story is very detailed and visual it is as if i am acquainted with these personalities/celebrities. the story is, in fact, omnipresent in the four corners of blogsphere.

after satiating myself with the dynamite, i've browsed the inquirer. not a good idea. right before my eyes are the big bold letters of "World Bank lists sources of corruption in Philippines" parading across the page. too heavy for my eyes as i've decided not to immerse too much to political arena. too constraining for a mind that has long kissed off the meaning of rest. or simply, it's just too hot to handle.

so i just sit in front of this pc, wishing that the chair would turn into a banana boat where i can stretch my legs while having banana daiquiris. now that is the real event of my life.

4.40 AM, sa office

2008-03-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

29 march 2008
makati city
happy anniversary!

still at the office, finishing the things i should have abandoned. times like these bring me back to reality check, though it is still hard to figure out as i've totally lost my sanity these past few weeks. anyway, right now, several thoughts, disorganised or unorganised, keep banging at the thickness of the wall of my head.

1. my neglect to give life to this blog. been a long time since i put something interesting in it. i've, in fact, lost tracked to what is my last entry. nobody cares anyway, but up to now, i still enjoy looking at the template i've borrowed.

2. my flakes are branching out of my head. don't know anymore what shampoo to use or how many times should i comb my hair. it's getting kadiri na especially i am wont to using dark shirts.

3. my hair is obviously in protest. every strand has its life of its own. everyday is my bad hair day. plan to have them toned down soon, a plan that has been going in rounds for years.

4. need a new pair of shoes. period, no need to explain.

5. pants and poloshirts to pop up prim and proper portrait especially if talking to a client. nothing is mortifying than shaking hands with the client with big Arial Black "I lost virginity.." screaming on the shirt.

the list is never-ending. this is how bottle up i am. and now, i need to get back to auditing.

happy birthday, jd salinger!

2008-01-01T01:18:00.000-08:00

"I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all… I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye."

jd salinger

No Turning Back (?)

2007-12-30T19:12:00.000-08:00

31 december 2007
makati city

This year dawned not with a bang but with a heavy heart. After spending nights gorging on cans of coke and packs of Marlboro over a videoke with friends I’d lost connection to, I was forced to cut down my stay in our province, throwing away my much-anticipated VL into vacuum. From this, I had known that my year was off to a bad start.

But it did not turn out as bad as I was expecting. In fact, blessings came after the other, thanks for not being expectant of something I longed for. After going ballistic and running amok for not getting the position I was salivating after, I just shrugged my shoulder and let things go off. Unearth the antagonism that had been harboring in me, and view things in rose-colored glasses. This was so un-me, crediting this transformation to Tina, Ayin and the Vukes who sucked up all my angst during those times.

A “not-so-me” has been very hard to live up. Up to know, remnants of the past continue to hound me, like a specter out to bring me back to what I was. Of course this is not to say that I am living out of control, that I am pretending to be someone I wish I am (Mr. Ripley? J). In fact, it is still the very “me,” minus the negative vibes.

Soon, my so-called career skyrocketed, which has elevated Paulo Coelho, the genius who declared “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” to a Hall of something. Now, I have become a certified Coelhian (I just declared I am), pondering on his cute lines that do not only touch hearts, but also pinch, bludgeon and slaughter souls.

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” again from Coelho, my new-found spiritual guru. That’s exactly what I have done in the past months as my work was not on a smooth sailing. Karir! Good thing, I was able to turn the reddest of the red to the greenest of the green, enjoying each moment unleashing something from the team I am focusing on.

All about work – that’s what 2007 for me. A career move whatsoever, I was deprived of news on print and broadcast which I could cite with a full articulation before. Sometimes it is a good thing, bearing out the cliché “Ignorance is bliss.” I have become bored of my social life I am starting to enjoy it. I’ve adopted the “office-home” routine, with occasional hanging out in Origin.

Days before the year ends, I was able to talk to some good old friends who have remained faithful to das Gesetz. That was the first time, for this year I was able to think through without thinking much about work. Under the glint of the moon with the usual packs of Marlboro and liters of coke, I slowly sucked the thick black smoke up into my lungs.

Red Angel

2007-12-20T22:38:00.000-08:00

Red Angel
(for Nic and friends)

Edel Garcellano

They must have hoped
through the months
for a sign from the sky:
in the arabesque of leaves
under their feet,
in the blast of wind
over their heads...

But the gods were merciless!
Their prayers were like stones
Dropping into the abyss ---
and they couldn't eveh hear
the sound of their empty falling!

They would be no miracle?
and their feeble sighs
would resonate
from the secret chambers
of their hearts:
Why do revolutionaries die?

Still, the gods would madly laugh,
as if all should never dare question
the law of the universe...
The morning after,
the slow rain pattered
on ten rooftops.
The weather had been uncertain
the past few weeks.

But one thing
they were damned sure of ---
nature was taking its course.
They had finally read
the writing on the wall
of the universe.

So they dutifully gathered
at his bedside
to let the world know
that Ka Monico Atienza,
red angel,
of their subliminal joys and fears,
lived a just, heroic life
and they would now,
orphans of his presence,
take on the grim task
that he
unwillingly abandoned
for that light
beyond his body's shell,
and they, who would follow
his incandescent destiny,
would salute him
who was truly the miracle itself
for resisting,
for persisting to live
humanly and meaningfully
in this age
of tyrants
and luminous barbarians.

free burma

2007-10-09T07:30:00.001-07:00

The Disinherited

2007-09-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

lifted from edel garcellano's blog (www.theworksofedelgarcellano.wordpress.com)

We push our wooden lives on daily nightmare.

The sun perches on our backs; moon rakesinto our eyes;

the earth knifes beneath

like sharpened scythe: silently we perish….

Our carts of dream drag through the mists

gaining the caves & dead-ends of our task;

Nobles expose their hearts (O Words, not Deeds!)

& blindly each dawn goodnight we greet.

The Civil Guards, bulls & ruthless, stampede

down our suspect fangs & narrow faces,

bereaving us in a palmless, whimful siege.

The law, after all, guards from menace and disease.

(Our land of vision is hollow, our voices dead)

At the Court of Justice the human balance tips:

“Throw for lack of identity, bastards of the mill!”

We’re finally stamped of our birthmark filth….

The cell stares, yawning exile & decision

as obscene faces strike the ruler’s imprecision,

selecting from among the driftwood of our pains,

like writing on the wall the questions reverent.

Nothing, none at all, save fragments of memories…

O have we become stones, numerous & still?

To sleep, thus dream? Pray, for centuries we did!
& blankly we smash the bars, rioting to live!

From Voices of Violence, 1971

July 2nd, 2006 at 9:59 am

(POETRY OF EDEL GARCELLANO, selected by G.Y. Guillermo)

Can't Get Enough of You Baby...

2007-09-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

22 september, 2007
makati city

still can't get enough of akaw anvasion day. i've just finished checking the pics at http://www.batangbaler.net/ and the video of kapatid ni amy in youtube. i'm sort of thinking that life should have always been like that, full of surprises and great performances.

anyway, here's the finale of akaw invasion 2, an outstanding performance (kahit na lasing) of the newly formed kapatid ni amy. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb5znLjw6ak

Behind the Scenes of Akaw Invasion 2

2007-09-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

sept 16, 2007
makati city

it's over a week now but i can't still get over it. a whirr has been taking refuge in my ear drums up to know, courtesy of the fusion and synthesis of drums and guitars and shouts that clouded puple haze bar last 08 september.

as usual, i came late. several bands already performed when the battered cab, which crisscrossed the interweaving roads from serendra to purple haze, discharged me. with no composure left in my attempt to move faster, i bumped into a thick hard wall named abay z.

abay z and i resigned to the fact that we don't have talent in squeezing our carcass in the thickness of throng, very un-ladyleigh-like; hence, we tried to content ourselves sitting outside, smoking like fiend while blathering whatnot. of course, when you're with abay z, nostalgia is surging like lava.

until we realised that our harking back to Mrs Bitancor's do-re-mi-mga-tanga-mga-usol ate much of our time, i steeled my resolve and hurled everything that blocked my way. still, else was so near yet so far as phalanx of pangks, and rakistas took over the center isle. i could not move when i was trapped amid these pangkitos as there's a big possibility that a body or two, and/or blood would just fly right after my head. the thought of being squeezed in moshpit melted away my doggedness.

good thing the band in front was a thing to watch; otherwise, people might see my teeth clattered and my chin bobbed. at last, i was able to push through the hardness of the pangkitos and went right in front of else who was so busy that abay z and i suspected that her heart already inflated to leigh's mass. i was able to recruit lor to going down as we recognise the we aren't anymore belong to the age group (ouch!).

abay z + lor equals never-ending chikahan, from lor's independence and theory about love to my call centre escapades. we went to figaro to drown our sobriety over a cup of coffee.

going back to purple haze, everything was still in normalcy. pangks and rakers were still headbanging, mixing their hairs up with beer and sweat. we decided to push ourselves in to the crowd, to once and for all enjoy the night which was the purpose of this in the first place.

what can i say, all were really on the top form. with their performances, they have indelibly sealed the fact that rock and roll is alive and kicking in baler. no band wasted time, the stage was able to serve its purpose.

the finale was kapatid ni amy, a song composed by else's kuya. so unpretentious and inspiring it was that it literally brought the house down. everyone was singing, no one was pasaway. it has drawn us together, making us one.

Rock en Roll

2007-09-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

07 Sept 2007
makati city

By this time tomorrow, I would probably be in the thickness of the rocking and rolling Akkaw throng. With can of Coke squeezed in my right hand and pack of Marlboro sandwich between my fingers, I might be dancing or headbanging or shrieking to the top of my lungs to the tune of the homegrown music of Baler.

Thrill has been enveloping me these past days as I am really looking forward to this event. I just realised during one of my sould-searching moments that I have been neglected of social life for quite a long time, after assuming a quality specialist work. It's kinda raw to think that the party-goer/barfly in me has already entered in the face of oblivion. This might be a sign of extinction.

Gone are the days when nothing mattered but concerts and gigs. I am now in the phase of "Been there, done that" attitude. However, I may be too fool to let to-die-for concerts pass, but this one I won't definitely miss.

disappeared

2007-08-08T06:31:00.000-07:00

By Conrado de Quiros
Inquirer
Last updated 01:38am (Mla time)
08/08/2007

It was raining hard toward noon last Monday and they were only a handful of men and women. But that did not deter Edita Burgos and kin and friends from marching from Santo Domingo Church to Welcome Rotunda to remind the world of their search for, well, someone they had not seen for the last 100 days. And to remind the world as well that failing to find him, they would not let go until they found the truth about him or found justice for him. By the time they got to Welcome Rotunda, amid the variously blank, sympathetic and hostile stares of the drivers and passengers of cars and jeepneys, the last belonging to those who minded being inconvenienced by traffic as they dragged their bedraggled carcasses to work, the heavens wept copiously.

Most of the marchers, who had not brought umbrellas, the skies earlier that day promising a good day, kept on, finding it still a good day to do what they had to do. The rains had come at last after having kept away, like justice, from this spot of earth for a long time. In any case, being drenched in furious rain was just another adversity, albeit a minor one, in the struggle to find the precious things that we had lost in this country.

Last Monday was the 100th day since Jonas Burgos was dragged out of a mall in Fairview by armed men while he shouted for the world to help him. To mark it, the marchers wore masks of Jonas’ face. The idea was for 100 persons to wear those masks, but at the height of the rain the persons who stood beneath the Rotunda obelisk could not have been more than 30. No matter. Whether 30 or 100, they could not have pressed their cause more ardently than Leonidas’ 300. Theirs was the same heroic stand against seemingly impossible odds, and barring anyone betraying them, which is not likely, they will probably fare in the end better than Leonidas himself.

Edita Burgos spoke before the gathering, while the face of her son in black-and-white looked back at her from the faces of those who listened under the gray skies and lash of wind and rain. It might have been a scene from some surreal movie drained of color, with only Jonas’ cardboard face glowing whitely against the unsaturated background.

Edita (she is one very brave mother) thanked the people gathered there and those who were not there but who worked tirelessly to not make the world forget about her son. Though bowed by grief over the absence of Jonas, and the fear of the tragic fate that might already have befallen him, she took comfort in the thought that in his absence, Jonas had taken on a bigger presence than he had while he was there. In his silence, his words rang more loudly than they did when he had spoken them. In his abductors’ attempt to thwart his dreams, they had become an irresistible force demanding to be fulfilled.

I listened to her and realized how deeply we owed certain families more than others. Families who have given up so much, not the least the lives of those they held dearest to them, to give life to this country. There were many of them during Marcos’ declared martial law, there are many of them in Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s undeclared martial law.

Such a family is the Burgoses. I cannot say I know what they have been through, though I myself became an activist ages ago. I cannot know the depths of fear and deprivation they went through when Joe was fighting what seemed a lonely battle against Marcos, a battle destined only to end in failure or death. I cannot know what depths of grief and deprivation they are going through today, when Jonas has disappeared after fighting what seemed like a lonely battle to uplift the lot of his fellow farmers, a disappearance of a hundred days that could only bode the worst of possibilities.
That is a debt that can never be repaid even after the worst is over for this country.

The Burgoses would tell me that Ferdinand Marcos’ military also branded Jonas’ father, Joe, uncannily in almost the same terms. But then I remembered that Marcos’ military also branded Ninoy Aquino a communist, or at least a communist sympathizer or New People's Army coddler, following Marcos’ proposition that a Left-Right conspiracy was out to wreck his “revolution from the center.” There is something uncanny, too, about the source of this country’s bane posturing about being the country’s savior. History is full of surprises for those who do not heed it, although they are mere repetitions for those who do.

I looked at the refraction of Jonas’ face in the many faces that wore his mask, and I thought, yes, like Ninoy, "hindi ka nag-iisa" -- you are not alone. We are with you, or you are with all of us. We are in you and you are in all of us. Your hopes and your dreams are not yours alone to harbor, the grief and loss your kin must feel are not theirs alone to carry. I do not now remember if the heavens wept as well when this country escorted Ninoy to his resting place, but I remember that it was August, too, a time to bury the august dead.

More than that, I looked at the replication of Jonas’ face in the many faces that wore his mask, and I thought, more than "hindi ka nag-iisa," "hindi ka naiiba" -- you are not different from me, you are me. You are all of us. What happened to you can’t just happen to all of us, it is happening to all of us. As in the stark past of martial law, protest, defiance and worst of all helping others have become heinous crimes deserving of death, and those of us who are guilty of them are presumed to invite it. I remembered, while the skies wept and the FX vans sloshed through the puddles of brown water and the handful of men and women lined up with their Jonas faces before the hooded cameras, what a long procession there was for Ninoy then.

And I wondered what else in this country has disappeared.

2007-06-21T00:01:00.001-07:00

10 Reasons Why We Should VOTE KABATAAN PARTYLIST

2007-05-11T14:04:00.002-07:00

1. KABATAAN ito, kapatid!
Ang Kabataan Partylist ay natatanging partylist na itinatag, pinamumunuan, at itinataguyod ng mga kabataan para sa interes nating mga kabataan.

2. STRENGTH IN NUMBERS
May mga chapters ang Kabataan Partylist mula Luzon hanggang Mindanao. Ni-uunite nito ang mga kabataan ng sangkapuluan hindi lang sa kongreso kundi sating mga paaralan, komunidad at pagawaan. Kinikilala din nito ang lakas ng ating pinagsamang tinig at boses sa Mababang Kapulungan maging sa lansangan.

3. Because IT IS RIGHT!
Yes, Education is a Right! Iginigiit at itinataguyod ng Kabataan Partylist ang karapatan nating kabataan sa edukasyon sa pamamagitan ng dagdag na pondo sa edukasyon at kagyat na pagpapatigil ng tumitinding komersyalisasyon ng edukasyon.

4. PANG-KABUHAYAN Showcase!
Isinusulong din ng Kabataan Partylist ang pagkakaroon ng disenteng trabaho at kabuhayan hindi lamang para sa mga kabataan kundi para sa lahat ng mamamayang Pilipino.

5. STAR STUDDED ITO!
Who else kundi sina Papa Dennis Trillo at Ate Angel Locsin ang nag-eendose ng Kabataan Partylist sa kanilang video sa You Tube! Tulad nila ay sumusuporta din sa mga itinataguyod ng Kabataan Partylist sina Dino ng Brownman Revival, Datu's Tribe, Ciara Sotto, Marvin Agustin, Paolo Ballesteros, at our very own Atom Araullo!!! O diba, i-star i-studded! (para mapanood, pumunta lang sa www.kabataanparty. com)

6. TALENTADO TAYO!
Kinikilala ng Kabataan Partylist na mahalagang pagyamanin din ang sports, kultura, at sining para sa pagpapaunlad ng Kabataang Pilipino. Para naman hindi nasasayang ang ating mga angking kakayahan at talento, di ba?

7. PEACE, MAN!
Sinusuportahan ng Kabataan Partylist ang mga batayang karapatan ng bawat Pilipino na mamuhay sa isang lipunang mapayapa at malaya mula sa krimen, pagkalulong sa droga, giyera, militarisasyon, peligro sa kapaligiran, dekadenteng kultura, prostitusyon, kagutuman, at diskriminasyon sa kasarian, edad, kapansan, at relihiyon.

8. SERVE THE PEOPLE!
Kinikilala ng Kabataan Partylist ang papel nating mga kabataan sa pagbabago ng mundo. Isang pagbabagong higit na makabuluhan kung ating ilalaan sa paglingkod sa bayan at sa lahat ng sektor (manggagawa, magsasaka, maralitang tagalunsod, pambansang minorya, atbp) na matagal nang ipinagkakait ng isang maayos na pamumuhay. Kaya't hindi mawawala ang battlecry nitong Serve the People!

9. PAG-IBIG!
Ipinagtatanggol ng Kabataan Partylist ang PAG-IBIG! at debosyon sa Inang Bayan sa pamamagitan ng pagbabantay sa ating kalayaan at respeto sa pambansang patrimonya at soberanya.

10. TAYO ANG PAG-ASA NG BAYAN! Dapat may SAY na tayo!
Titiyakin natin na ang mga kabataan ay makikinabang at makakalahok sa lahat ng aspeto ng pamumuno ng gobyerno at pagdedesisyon ng mga kinatawan ng pamahalaan. Dahil tayo ang pag-asa ng bayan, sa ATIN ang KINABUKASAN, kaya nararapat lamang na may SAY tayo sa kung anong klaseng kinabukasan ang dapat na mapunta sa atin.

Kabataan, Mag-aral, Maglingkod, Makibaka!
Tayo ang Pag-asa! Tayo ang Kinabukasan!
IBOTO! KABATAAN PARTYLIST!

VOTE Kabataan Party!

2007-05-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Novelist Kurt Vonnegut dies at age 84

2007-04-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

By CHRISTIAN SALAZAR,
Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Kurt Vonnegut, the satirical novelist who captured the absurdity of war and questioned the advances of science in darkly humorous works such as "Slaughterhouse- Five" and "Cat's Cradle," died Wednesday. He was 84. Vonnegut, who often marveled that he had lived so long despite his lifelong smoking habit, had suffered brain injuries after a fall at his Manhattan home weeks ago, said his wife, photographer Jill Krementz.

The author of at least 19 novels, many of them best-sellers, as well as dozens of short stories, essays and plays, Vonnegut relished the role of a social critic. He lectured regularly, exhorting audiences to think for themselves and delighting in barbed commentary against the institutions he felt were dehumanizing people."I will say anything to be funny, often in the most horrible situations," Vonnegut, whose watery, heavy-lidded eyes and unruly hair made him seem to be in existential pain, once told a gathering of psychiatrists.

A self-described religious skeptic and freethinking humanist, Vonnegut used protagonists such as Billy Pilgrim and Eliot Rosewater as transparent vehicles for his points of view. He also filled his novels with satirical commentary and even drawings that were only loosely connected to the plot. In "Slaughterhouse- Five," he drew a headstone with the epitaph: "Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt."But much in his life was traumatic, and left him in pain.

Despite his commercial success, Vonnegut battled depression throughout his life, and in 1984, he attempted suicide with pills and alcohol, joking later about how he botched the job.His mother had succeeded in killing herself just before he left for Germany during World War II, where he was quickly taken prisoner during the Battle of the Bulge. He was being held in Dresden when Allied bombs created a firestorm that killed an estimated tens of thousands of people in the city."The firebombing of Dresden explains absolutely nothing about why I write what I write and am what I am," Vonnegut wrote in "Fates Worse Than Death," his 1991 autobiography of sorts.But he spent 23 years struggling to write about the ordeal, which he survived by huddling with other POW's inside an underground meat locker labeled slaughterhouse- five.

The novel, in which Pvt. Pilgrim is transported from Dresden by time-traveling aliens from the planet Tralfamadore, was published at the height of the Vietnam War, and solidified his reputation as an iconoclast."He was sort of like nobody else," said Gore Vidal, who noted that he, Vonnegut and Norman Mailer were among the last writers around who served in World War II."

He was imaginative; our generation of writers didn't go in for imagination very much. Literary realism was the general style. Those of us who came out of the war in the 1940s made it sort of the official American prose, and it was often a bit on the dull side. Kurt was never dull."Vonnegut was born on Nov. 11, 1922, in Indianapolis, a "fourth-generation German-American religious skeptic Freethinker, " and studied chemistry at Cornell University before joining the Army.

When he returned, he reported for Chicago's City News Bureau, then did public relations for General Electric, a job he loathed. He wrote his first novel, "Player Piano," in 1951, followed by "The Sirens of Titan," "Canary in a Cat House" and "Mother Night," making ends meet by selling Saabs on Cape Cod.Critics ignored him at first, then denigrated his deliberately bizarre stories and disjointed plots as haphazardly written science fiction.

But his novels became cult classics, especially "Cat's Cradle" in 1963, in which scientists create "ice-nine," a crystal that turns water solid and destroys the earth.Many of his novels were best-sellers. Some also were banned and burned for suspected obscenity. Vonnegut took on censorship as an active member of the PEN writers' aid group and the American Civil Liberties Union. The American Humanist Association, which promotes individual freedom, rational thought and scientific skepticism, made him its honorary president.

His characters tended to be miserable anti-heros with little control over their fate. Pilgrim was an ungainly, lonely goof. The hero of "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater" was a sniveling, obese volunteer fireman. Vonnegut said the villains in his books were never individuals, but culture, society and history, which he said were making a mess of the planet. "We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard ... and too damn cheap," he once suggested carving into a wall on the Grand Canyon, as a message for flying-saucer creatures.

He retired from novel writing in his later years, but continued to publish short articles. He had a best-seller in 2005 with "A Man Without a Country," a collection of his nonfiction, including jabs at the Bush administration ("upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography") and the uncertain future of the planet. He called the book's success "a nice glass of champagne at the end of a life."

In recent years, Vonnegut worked as a senior editor and columnist at "In These Times." Editor Joel Bleifuss said he had been trying recently to get Vonnegut to write something more for the magazine, but was unsuccessful. "He would just say he's too old and that he had nothing more to say. He realized, I think, he was at the end of his life," Bleifuss said.

Vonnegut, who had homes in Manhattan and the Hamptons in New York, adopted his sister's three young children after she died. He also had three children of his own with his first wife, Ann Cox, and later adopted a daughter, Lily, with his second wife, the noted photographer Jill Krementz. Vonnegut once said that of all the ways to die, he'd prefer to go out in an airplane crash on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro. He often joked about the difficulties of old age. "When Hemingway killed himself he put a period at the end of his life; old age is more like a semicolon," Vonnegut told The Associated Press in 2005.

"My father, like Hemingway, was a gun nut and was very unhappy late in life. But he was proud of not committing suicide. And I'll do the same, so as not to set a bad example for my children

The Green Lantern in Me

2007-04-14T11:41:00.001-07:00

Hehehe...Try this one, I'm afraid I'm a villain :)

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern		85%
Robin		75%
Spider-Man		70%
Superman		65%
Supergirl		60%
Wonder Woman		60%
The Flash		60%
Catwoman		60%
Hulk		55%
Iron Man		55%
Batman		15%

Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Scylla and Charybdis

2007-04-12T23:37:00.000-07:00

12 April 2006
Metrica, Manila

With four blogs I’ve vowed to maintain, I’m steeled in my resolve that from now on, weeks would never pass without any entry or at least fillers to them. There’s no heart-splintering to me than seeing my blogs in state of vacuity. Panic and paranoia it has been causing me; it is as if I’m bowing to the challenge of Stephen King who stated in his “On Writing” that “If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?”

However, seldom can I finish articles. Most of them remain incomplete, already mottling with age in my frayed notebook. Although lots of ideas have been constantly playing in my head, I can hardly take up writing them again as I’m afraid I might not be able to put heart and soul and justice to them. Reading these unfinished writings is like watching Lorna Tolentino, they’re good yet they’re lacking of emotion.

Gone are the days when I’d just clack my keyboard and the words would fire off like wayward missiles. A cup of coffee or two, a pack of Marlboro and Nirvana or GnR or Indigo Girls on the background were all I needed before to weave words, enabling me to carry out a thousand-word article in three hours. Today, I have to pass through the ritual of plugging socket in my nose, wringing my brain until it bleeds and trickling buckets of sweat before I can produce a paragraph that can’t even make a single strand of hair raise.

As to what has caused my impasse is still a conundrum. Oftentimes, I point my finger at my overindulgence on coffee, coke and cigarette. Yet this could be because of the age, or dementia or anything that I could easily cite as a convincing alibi.

There are a lot of possibilities. Yet, while mulling over, words are just strutting in front of me, waiting to be picked up. They’re freely floating, waiting to be of service to make a story, a poem or an article ennoble the beauty and madness of life. That is the irony of it: they’re free but remain dormant unless you have the guts to use them. Your fear is that they would become less magical, less powerful or totally futile as soon as you employ them. You’re terrified at the thought of failing them. Because according to the British novelist Samuel Butler, the rule is “we have got to live with them and must make the best and not the worst of them.”

But no matter what, we have to live with the words. That is why, I’m firm that I would keep my four blogs. At least, through them, I’m in no doubt I’d be a good neighbor with words. The only thing is that I’ve to make use of them properly. Otherwise, I would produce nothing but a trash.

E-mode

2007-04-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

07 april 2007
makati city

If Jessica Zafra has Synchronicity of The Police as her riposte to the corny surveys “What’s the album that has changed/shaped your life?”, I would definitely single out the Eraserheads. I’m sure everybody in my generation would do anyway, but for an angst-ridden, zits-filled youth who thought that locking himself in his bedroom for a week because Kurt Cobain pulled the trigger of shotgun in his mouth was the ultimate expression of being cool, everything abruptly changed when the Ultraelectromagneticpop surfaced.

I was among those who dared to skip classes to catch videos of Kurt Cobain smashing his guitar into smithereens or Axle Rose doing somersault in his concert with his white skimpy cycling shorts. For us, wearing torn jeans, black shirt with black nail polish was the “in” thing. Failure to do so would mean you’re not cool, or worse, hip-hop, a brand which all of us tried to steer clear of. I was in my “I-hate-myself-I-wanna-die” attitude when Tindahan ni Aling Nena, Toyang, Pare Ko and Ligaya knocked superficial pop from the airwaves and the charts. Instantly, I fell in love with the band and their songs.

Almost spontaneously, I erased the nail polish, unearthed my white and colored shirts, put my old tired boots back into my shoe rack and bought my chucks. I was in complete metamorphosis.

But beyond my makeover, I was spared from learning by rote the entire lines of Estranged, November Rain, and Metal Militia. Nothing’s more mortifying than being pulled up when you’re in top form shrieking the songs of Nirvana, Metallica, Guns & Roses, etc.

Being cool wasn’t measured; I wouldn’t effort to fit in to any crowd or group anymore. There’s no requirement whatsoever, you just had to appreciate the music. I developed the “I-Don’t-Care” stance, as long as I was enjoying what I was doing. Just like Eheads, they never cared nor bothered how some people, even a senator, critiqued and demeaned their songs. For them, these were all for pure, clean fun.

And so Eheads had been my constant companion. Never was I bored listening to them as their music was of great diversity. They worked both in the underground and mainstream with a mix of alternative, pop, rock, reggae, synth rock and other genres. From the first thing in the morning up to the last minute of the day, my ears were all glued to their songs.

Of all the Eheads songs, it has been “Wag Kang Matakot” I’ve enjoyed immensely. I’m sure the hopeless romantic organisms can identify with me. Just hearing the first strum was enough to make my innards coil, no kidding. There were nights I’d just turn off the lights, and listen to the song until I dozed off. This went on for months that it became my lullaby. Until my mom saw our electric bill.

Summer was of particular kick. I bugged my mom to let me spend my vacation in Manila so as to witness Eheads demonstrate their greatness on stage. We squashed our carcass into the thickness of the crowd, rubbing elbows with the other members of the cult the Eheads successfully yet unintentionally established. We religiously parked ourselves along the flowerbox of Shakey’s in front of UST just to catch a glimpse of the band regularly performing at Mayric’s.

That’s how I got attached to Ely, Raimund, Buddy and Marcus. They became my life, the center of my universe. Just imagine how shattered I was when the news of their breakup reached me in mid-March 2002. The reasons were unknown by then, and we had nothing but mere speculations. But one thing is clear for me, that life would never be the same again.

In deed, life was never be the same again. Until now, I cannot identify a band that can be on a par with Eheads. I really miss the Eheads.

***Lesson: it is not advisable to play Eheads in the morning of Black Saturday.

Things that we should know by heart

2007-04-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

08 april 2007
makati

Choosing for something to write about is never been an easy for me. As a feelingerong-writer, I can’t just jot down my rambling thoughts, organize them, and presto, I’ve a magnum opus I can proudly display. Unlike before, I’ve to make my brain bleed to be able to cook up something that is somewhat within acceptable limits.

While thinking of a topic, I stumbled upon Jessica Zafra’s entry in her blog regarding the relationship in the office, work-related, that is. This is of particular significance as it tries to shed light to the tricky situations in the office.

Anyway, here’s the entire article. Please make sure to know these points by heart so that the next time we make excuses, they would be flawed-free.

Tough at the top

Overworked, mistreated and underappreciated? Think you're the only one with a right to complain? Think again. Mira Katbamna reveals 10 things your boss hates about you

Monday April 2, 2007
The Guardian

Go on, admit it: you hate your boss. You do. The way they accost you with: "It'll just take five minutes" as you're trying to leave. The way they smile patronisingly when they read your appraisal request for more training. Just them having power over you for eight hours every day is enough to make you spit with fury.

But at least we're not alone in our angst. It seems bosses are also a bit cross: they hate us, too. All of us. Even when we bring them coffee. And, according to Sandi Mann, senior lecturer in occupational psychology at the University of Central Lancashire, they may have a point. "A generation ago, people worked their way up the ladder, hierarchy was based on age and experience, and it was more respected," she says.

"Now, people may be brought in [as bosses] who are seen as the 'young whippersnappers' or 'from outside' so there is much more resentment than there used to be - which makes it much difficult to manage effectively."
And that's not all. In the days before open-plan offices and team-bonding days, managers were better protected from us oiks. "Managers used to be more remote, with their own staffrooms and canteens, and there used to be more middle management," Mann says.

"But now, they are expected to be the authority figure and 'one of the lads' as it were, and it's not always easy to get that balance right."
The result of all this is that while your boss might look like she's fine, inside she's seething. You think you hate your boss? Here are the top 10 things your boss hates about YOU.

1. Lateness
Everyone has days when the bus breaks down, the washing machine packs up, or the alarm doesn't go off. The problem is that some people have those days Monday through Friday. But what really cheeses off your boss is your lame excuse. "It shows you don't care," says Louis Halpern, CEO at advertising agency Halpern Cowan. "Why they can't just tell you that they find it hard to get out of bed and be done with it I don't know. It really makes me furious."

2. Lack of initiative
"Don't ask me if you should buy lunch for the client, if the client is coming at noon," said one infuriated manager. "Call up the client and ask if they want lunch." Actually that's not quite what he said: there was a lot more swearing in the original version. Managers absolutely hate being bothered by stuff that really, if you thought about it for even a second, you could work out for yourself. They also hate constant updates and being CCd in on everything. They pay you to do a job - get on with it...

3. Too much initiative
... unless you're an idiot. A marketing manager for a large educational charity reports that if there's one thing worse than lack of initiative, it's completely ignoring instructions to go off and do something else instead. She recently found herself on stage, ready to announce the winner of an award. When the person responsible for counting the votes turned up, he showed off a new, whizzy and completely redundant colour-coded method for counting the votes. Unfortunately, devising the new programme meant he hadn't actually had time to ... count the votes.

4. Bitching and whining
So Julie from third floor might not have said hello to you this morning, and that might well be because she's an unfriendly cow, but in the context of say, the war in Iraq, does it really merit a four-hour disquisition? Your boss doesn't think so. On the other hand, while bitching is bad, whining is worse. "What really annoys me is when we buy new equipment or take everyone out, and all I hear the next day is 'We should have bought a bigger TV' or 'We could have gone to a nicer restaurant'" says Halpern. "And that's when we've spent £5,000."

5. Disloyalty
Although none of the managers came out and said that they hated their staff for talking over them in meetings, pointing out their errors in public, or preventing the bonus-related project coming in on time, Mann says it's a major issue. "People used to close ranks, but it doesn't happen quite as much as it used to," she says. "Managers usually feel obliged to look after their staff, but if their staff don't feel the same way, the lack of loyalty is always a problem for the boss."

6. Lack of passion. Or interest
It might come as a surprise to you, but your boss has a life outside work. They too find it hard to get up in the morning. And they find the managing director's speeches as boring as you do. But they have to stay motivated, because they are the boss. So, when you fall asleep in meetings, can't remember the names of your accounts and tell them it doesn't matter whether the email goes today or tomorrow, it reminds them that they don't really give a toss either, but that it's their job to make themselves, and you, care. Then they get really, really irritated.

7. Trying to be their best friend
They don't want to go down the pub with you, they don't want to hear about what you really think of their boss, and they most certainly don't want to know what happened between you and Andy in the loos last Friday. They like you, but they know from bitter experience that if they show too much interest, you'll start treating them like a friend and refuse to take orders.

8. Petty lying
Saying that you missed the call because your mobile has run out of power. That you didn't get the email. That you've sent the report but there must be a technical glitch. That the meeting has run over and it's not worth you coming back to the office. That you've lost two big taxi receipts. That you're working from home today. That you have to go to a funeral, the dentist, the doctor, your mum's house, your best friend's cousin's wedding. Whatever. The biggest insult is that you think they believe you.

9. Childishness
I'm paraphrasing, but the key message here is: "I'm not your mum. Don't email me about the brand of toilet paper in the loo. Don't leave the kitchen in a mess. Don't ask me for a new biro. I'm not going to clean up after you and I don't care about this crap." You get the idea.

10. Wanting their job
They spend all their time and energy trying to protect you from the higher-uppers, you spend all your energy complaining about them. And then, on top of that, you want their job? Unforgivable.

The Pseudo-Quasi-Semi Insomniac Slash Nocturnal Slash Catatonic

2007-04-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

16 march 2007
metrica, manila

Kuya Boy’s voice was already reverberating around the house. Twisting, turning, coiling and spinning, my mind was still stirring. Allende, Garcia-Marquez and Kundera were of no help. After reading and re-reading them, their powerful words and metaphors turned into mere ants parading before my tired eyes. Sleeping pills were all expired, the Nido can was already empty, Kukay was having forty winks at the doorsteps, and my eyes were still alive and kicking.

For the past days, I’ve been struggling to sleep. Every inch of my nerves has all worn out after several days of pressure from the office, particularly from our PM. Stress has been killing me I have been restless. The last time I had a sound sleep was so long a time I’ve forgotten it. Good thing there’s Marlboro and Coke that somewhat put me at ease.

Times like these bring me back to assessing my life. Which I hate, not only because I feel guilty for the things that I’ve done and whatnot, but I’d be consumed in trying to figure out my status right now and my future, if there is. This I find insufferable because I’m afraid that that would make me down in the dumps, especially with the current condition of my work.

Sometimes, I just think that I’m just overreacting, that I’m seeing things larger than life. I’m just trying to believe that life is as simple as what it had been during our younger years, when all our problems revolve around the zits and JS prom and our crushes. But however I strive to view things in rose-colored glass, this is my life now. And in spite of all the efforts that I’ve been doing to make it look optimistic and upbeat, well, it is as exciting as opening of an umbrella.

Too much for this as I know I’m not making any sense anymore. The sun was in its full vividness and Luningning was now executing her signature steps. Still, catching a doze was far from reality, even though my eyes were already puffed-up. Wait, Maricel Soriano was up next.

Justice for Satur, Justice for All

2007-04-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

By Conrado de Quiros
Inquirer
Last updated 01:55am (Mla time) 03/26/2007

MANILA, Philippines – The gall of these people!

Eduardo Ermita says sori na lang: Satur Ocampo would have been spared the attentions the authorities are showering him now if he had merely availed of the amnesty offered by Presidents Aquino and Ramos during their time. Raul Gonzalez choruses, tsk, tsk, Ocampo is not covered by the amnesty given by the two past presidents simply because he did not apply for it. “If the President grants amnesty,” he says philosophically, “you must apply.”

What arrant nonsense.

At the very least, what’s wrong with it is what Ocampo himself has to say about it. He never applied for the amnesty because he never committed the crimes he was accused of. Why on earth, or hell, should he ask to be pardoned for a crime he did not commit? Indeed, why on earth, or on any other planet, should he admit to a crime he did not commit?

It’s the third time now, says Ocampo, that he has been accused of these crimes—during Marcos’ time when he was in detention; during Cory’s time when he was again in detention; and now during Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s time, for which he has been put in detention. And each time, the case against him failed. I thought we proscribed double jeopardy? I thought we observed the principle that a man may not be tried for the same case twice? This isn’t double jeopardy, this is triple jeopardy!

What makes Ermita’s and Gonzalez’s statements doubly stupid is that they openly suggest that Ocampo is not being accused of an ordinary crime but of a political one. One committed in the course of pursuing a political cause and, therefore, deserving of amnesty. If Ocampo were truly guilty of murder in the sense that we normally understand it, in the sense of the spectacle we are being regaled with today (journalists and political activists are being routinely gunned down by assassins), why should he be pardoned whether there is amnesty or not? The killers of James Rowe were not. If Ocampo fell in the same category, then he should rot in hell, or in jail. Ermita and Gonzalez themselves suggest he does not belong in either.

What makes their statements galling is more than the smugness with which they say them. What makes them so is the way they or the government they represent presume to sit in judgment over Ocampo. They should not be judging, they should be judged.

I do know someone who has committed a monumental crime, a crime far worse than the murder of a person, or even the wholesale slaughter of an entire tribe. That is the murder of a nation, that is the murder of a people. Or what is but the same thing, that is the murder of democracy, that is the murder of freedom. I do know someone who admitted that crime, albeit with every effort to mislead the public about it. I do know someone who applied for pardon for it, saying robotically “I…am…sorry…”, notwithstanding that the ultimate rulers of this country, who are the People, have not issued a proclamation of amnesty and who certainly would not have included that crime among those pardonable by God or man even if they had done so.

I do know someone who has not been or will ever be covered by any amnesty. I do know someone who has asked to be pardoned for the mother of all crimes, but has not been pardoned for it or can ever be pardoned for it.

But she has not been prosecuted or harassed like Satur Ocampo. She has been installed in office and, like Marcos, praised by her fawners. She does not have a tiny cell in Muntinlupa, she has an office that dwarfs her in Malacañang.

But far more than any of these, the spectacle of GMA, Ermita, Gonzalez and ilk presuming to sit in judgment over Satur Ocampo is not unlike Imelda Marcos, Fabian Ver, Juan Ponce Enrile and ilk presuming to sit in judgment over Corazon Aquino. The fact that Ocampo is being accused of crimes he apparently committed during martial law only calls attention to who Ocampo and his accusers were during martial law and what contributions they’ve made to this country.

Ocampo was a journalist who, finding that the sword could be an ally of the pen, risked life and limb to join a group that was fighting to liberate this country from dictatorship. For which pains he was caught, tortured and detained for a good many years of his life, while trumped-up charges were filed against him as they were against everyone who tried to cut down the barbed wire strung across this country. By all rights, Ocampo should be hailed a hero for fighting and helping to restore this country’s freedoms, along with all those who died or were scarred for life for doing the same thing—Left, Right, or Center, it doesn’t matter. And by all rights, all those self-proclaimed heroes that sprouted after the bells pealed victory should be dragged to Bagumbayan and made to share Rizal’s fate minus the reverence.

What contributions Ermita, Gonzalez and ilk made during that time only they know. Indeed, what they were doing at that time, other than scratching the globules dangling down their apparent manhood, only they know. It’s criminal enough that we’ve never given people like Ocampo their due for what they’ve done to end a tyranny. It’s an absolute atrocity that they should be pilloried for it by people who may not hold up a cigarette lighter—never mind candle—to them.

During those dark years of martial law, we had a phrase that perfectly captured our common plight of oppression and our perception that a humongous injustice done to one person—Left, Right, or Center, it did not matter—was a humongous injustice done to us all. That phrase was, “Justice for Ninoy, justice for all.” In these dark years of de facto martial law, we have a phrase that does the same thing:

“Justice for Satur, justice for all.”

PALAYAIN si KA SATUR!

2007-03-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

KABATAAN PARTYLIST sa KONGRESO

2007-03-12T04:03:00.000-07:00

Kabataan, tagapagmana ng bukas, tagahulma ng kapalaran, pag-asa ng
bayan: Panahon na para sumuway at maging mapangahas.

Sumuway sa kasalukuyang ayos ng karahasan. Magpumiglas laban sa lupit
ng kahirapan. Sumalungat sa karaniwang agos ng kawalang pakialam.
Ituwid ang tiwali, iwaksi ng bulok, ipagtanggol ang mga api.

Kabataan:
Magtanong
Maghamon
Magtangka
Makisangkot.

Kailangang mag-aral hindi lamang sa loob ng paaralan, maghanapbuhay
upang maunawaan ang halaga ng paggawa, maghabol ng mga pangarap,
makapagsilbi, makilala ang sarili, maging makabuluhan sa lipunan.

Kabataan, kailangang magpatuloy.

Kailangang pumadyak. Kailangang kumampay. Kailangang huminga. Sa oras
ng pagkagipit nakakakuha ng lakas ang kabataan para lumangoy.
Nakakagalit ang mga nagaganap: Katiwalian, kahirapan, kawalang
katarungan. Pero ang galit natin ang ating armas.

Tulad ng ng ating mga bayaning nagsilbi sa kapwa at nag-alay ng buhay
para sa bansa:

Kung kailangang nasa bingit at pinagmumuntik-muntikanan, doon tayo
lalong nagiging matalas at mas mapangahas.

Dahil sa simula pa lang naman ng ating kasaysayan: Alam nating
nakakamit lang ang pagbabago kung iniluwal ito mula sa pinakamagiting
na pag-iral at pakikipaglaban ng kabataan.
Kabataan, pag-asa ng bayan. Walang ibang tagapagmana ng bukas kundi
tayo. Walang ibang huhulma ng bukas kundi tayo.

Kabataan, panahon na para sumuway at maging mapangahas.

Ngayong eleksyon, susuway tayo sa dikta ng kawalang-pakialam at
kawalang-katiyakan. Hindi tayo magkikimi ni hihingi ng paumanhin. Ang
pagsuway ay isang pagpapasiya. Ang pagsuway ay pagpanig. At pagkitil
sa pangit na kabilang hindi natin pinili. Ito'y pagkikipagtitigan sa
mata. Ito'y paniningil at pagtiyak sa ating mga karapatan. Ito'y
pagtangan sa papel natin sa pagbabago.

At paghamon sa sarili upang kumilos tungo sa isang mas makatao at
makatarungang mundo.

Kabataan:
Magtanong
Maghamon
Magtangka
Makisangkot.

Worst Education Crisis in 2007

2007-02-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

The future has become bleaker for the youth under the Arroyo administration. Year in, year out, the crisis of education sector has haunted the youth in the most unimaginable way, in all forms and schemes. Tuition increase, utilization of idled assets, exorbitant fees impositions; these have become normal scenes in the face of struggling youth.

This year isn’t an exemption. The reenacted budget adds up to the crisis, resulting in a huge number of dropouts. Clearly, the education has rapidly become a privilege to the affluent few, and not a right which the Constitution has clearly stipulated.

After reviewing the education sector situation, the Kabataan Partylist has come up with the following analysis:

Budget reenactment spells tuition hikes, more dropouts in state schools

The Kabataan Party today warned of a looming catastrophe for the education sector this year should Congress fail to pass the 2007 national budget.

“A reenacted budget could trigger the worst education crisis in history,” Kabataan Party president Raymond Palatino said.

Palatino explained that a reenacted national budget would only mean huge cutback in education spending as the government will have to do with the same budget it had in 2005. If ever, this is the third straight year that the government will operate in a reenacted budget, he added.

“The budget two years ago cannot in any way compensate the growing needs and population of the education sector, not to mention the urgency to modernize and upgrade school facilities.

He said a reenacted education budget would further aggravate the pitiful condition of education in the country and would make tertiary education even more elusive to ordinary Filipino youth.

He added that the unresolved controversy over the illegal provisions of the new Commission on Higher Education (CHEd) memorandum no. 14 or the guidelines for proposed tuition and miscellaneous fee hikes is bound to create more confusion on February when private schools file their applications for tuition hike next semester.

Last year, the House Committee on Higher and Technical Education said CHEd memorandum no. 14 is illegal as it allows private schools to increase tuition without proper consultation with students.

But an even bigger problem is set to confound tertiary education which Palatino compared to a ticking time bomb in the verge of an explosion.

With a decreasing budget for state schools every year, he said many state universities and colleges (SUCs) may soon follow the 300 percent tuition hike abruptly passed by the University of the Philippines (UP) Board of Regents last month.

Education spending has dropped from 19.3 percent of total government expenditures in 1997 to 15.5 percent in 2004. The average government spending on education per student is $170. This pales in comparison to Thailand ($550) and Malaysia ($930).

“The UP example and a reenacted budget will certainly attract other state school administrators to take the easier path and increase tuition to the detriment of poor but deserving student.”

He said this will consequently lead to an upsurge in college dropouts in the coming years.

“State schools supposedly are the last resort for college hopefuls and private school students who could no longer afford the excessive cost of college education. There is a very limited space left in state institutions and a tuition hike will make college education increasingly intangible and prohibitive even in public tertiary institutions.”

Astig ang KABATAAN!

2007-02-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

Where is Joey Estriber?

2006-11-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

lifted from Freedom Watch (www.cmfr-phil.blogspot.com)
06 November 2006

In a statement, the Paris-based press freedom watchdog Reporters Without Borders voiced its outrage over the "indifference of both local and national authorities" to the case of radio broadcaster Joey Estriber who was kidnapped eight months ago.

Still no word of missing radio presenter and environmentalist eight months after his abduction -- RSF

Reporters Without Borders voiced outrage today at the indifference of both local and national authorities to the fate of radio presenter and anti-logging campaigner Joey Estriber, who has been missing ever since he was kidnapped outside an Internet café in Baler, in Aurora province (northeast of Manila), on the evening of 3 March 2006.

"It is eight months to the day since Estriber was abducted and nothing has been done by the authorities to find and identify his kidnappers," the press freedom organisation said. "It seems that complicity between the local police and logging companies has prevented any progress in the investigation. The authorities in Manila must restart enquiries as a matter of urgency."

A freelance journalist who presented the programme Pag-usapan Natin (Let's talk about that) on local radio station DZJO, Estriber was kidnapped by four gunmen. According to a representative of the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines (NUJP), the kidnapping took place a few yards from a police station, but the police never questioned the witnesses.

Estriber has five dependants -- his wife and four children -- who have had no source of income since his disappearance.

A well-known critic of deforestation in Aurora province, he often used his radio programme to condemn the intensive logging being carried out by companies with the support of people within the local government, and he had participated in a campaign calling for the withdrawal of the nine licences issued to logging companies in the province.

Estriber also worked for a local development NGO, Bataris, which a military officer speaking on a radio station in February described as the kind of organisation that should be combated.

A Wanton Disregard for Press Freedom

2006-10-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

spread, sign and pass to other journalists
(email you name and media network to nujphil@gmail.com)

lifted from Bulatlat.com

There are presently 43 journalists in the Philippines facing libel charges filed by First Gentleman Jose Miguel "Mike" Arroyo. The sheer number betrays a wanton disregard for freedom of the press and the propensity to use power and influence to silence critics. This statement is to protest the use of the libel law to stop critical reports and commentaries and to fight for the right of every Filipino to seek and receive information and ideas on matters of public interest, which are at the very core of the concept of a democratic society.
-----------------
The law on libel exists to protect private citizens from unwarranted damage to reputation, but in the Philippines libel has been predominantly used by public officials as a tool to cow an independent press.

The most glaring example is the multiple libel cases filed by First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo against 43 reporters, columnists, editors, publishers, and even a subscription manager, of various publications.We will not dispute the merits of the cases nor Mr. Arroyo's right to defend his honor and dignity, as he and his lawyers insist.

What we decry is his propensity to sue journalists so as to muzzle those he does not agree with and sending out a clear signal to others that they risk the same ordeal should they dare cross him.

Mr. Arroyo is, after all, no ordinary mortal. As Presidential husband, he clearly enjoys immense power and influence, not just by his status but also because he does head the Office of the First Gentleman. And many, if not most, of his deeds and pronouncements dwell in the realm of public interest. He is, therefore, both a public figure and public official.

That he is aware of this status and has no qualms of wielding it against his perceived enemies is evident in the fact that, when he filed his latest suit against the Tulfo brothers, he gave his address as Malacañang Palace, as if to stress who he is.

The record number of cases Mr. Arroyo has filed highlight how the powerful in this benighted land regularly abuse libel laws to curtail the democratic right of the press to delve into the truth behind matters of public interest and the people's right to know. It is also the best argument for decriminalizing an outdated law that has been used not so much to protect the innocent as to shield the guilty.

We demand that Congress immediately work to repeal the law on libel, to strike it off the book of criminal statutes, as part of its sworn duty to strengthen our badly eroded and still beleaguered democracy.

We demand that Jose Miguel Arroyo cease and desist from this clear abuse of his power and influence and squarely face the issues raised against him where they are properly addressed, in the arena of free and democratic discourse.
We pledge that neither this nor any other attempts by those in power to trample on the freedom of the press and the people's right to know shall go unchallenged.

We commit ourselves to the continued struggle to realize the true blooming of democracy in our land, when freedom of expression shall be enshrined not just in our aspirations but in practice.

Signed by:
Philippine Media Organizations
National Union of Journalists of the Philippines (NUJP)
Center for Media Freedom and Responsibility (CMFR)
Bandillo ng Palawan
Sorsogon Organization of News writers, Announcers and Reporters (SONAR)
Manila Chinese Press Club (MCPC)
Negros Weekly
Negros Daily Bulletin
Cobra-Ans
Alyansa ng mga Filipinong Mamamahayag (AFIMA)
Association of Responsible Media (ARM)
Northern Media and Information Network (NMIN)

International Organizations
International Federation of Journalists
Media, Entertainment and Arts Alliance
Indian Media Centre (India)
Reporters Without Borders
Committee to Protect Journalists
Southeast Asian Press Alliance
Hong Kong Journalists Association
National Union of Journalists (India)
Federation of Media Employee's Trade Unions
Pakistan Press Foundation (PPF)
Hong Kong Journalists Association
Northern Media and Information Network (NMIN)

Individuals
Jose Torres Jr. (Chairperson, NUJP)
Rowena Paraan (Secretary-General, NUJP)
Nonoy Espina (Director, NUJP)
Inday Espina-Varona (Director, NUJP)
Sonny E. Fernandez (National Vice Chairperson, NUJP/ABC 5)
Elmer James Bandol (NUJP-Albay)
Leti Boniol (Philippine Daily Inquirer)
Ruben Alabastro (Inquirer)
Julie Aurelio (Inquirer)
Elvira Mata (Inquirer)
Adelle Geraldo (Inquirer)
Lorna Kalaw-Tirol (Inquirer)
Juan Sarmiento Jr. (Inquirer)
Chito de la Vega (Inquirer)
Stephanie Asuncion (Inquirer)
Jun Bandayrel (Inquirer)
Tina Arceo-Dumlao (Inquirer)
Margie Espino (Inquirer)
Corrie Salientes-Narisma (Inquirer)
Monica Feria (Inquirer)
Vangie Baga-Reyes (Inquirer)
Mylene Francisco (Inquirer)
Miguel Suarez (Inquirer)
Ted Melendres (Inquirer)
Jun Cinco (Inquirer)
A. Noel Velasco (Inquirer)
Abelardo Ulanday (Inquirer)
Rosario Garcellano (Inquirer)
Artemio Engracia Jr. (Inquirer)
Jose Ma. Nolasco (Inquirer)
John B. Bayarong (NUJP-Olongapo/Subic)
Romy Elusfa (Business Mirror)
Joyce Pañares (Manila Standard Today)
Marlon Ramos (Inquirer Southern Luzon Bureau-Laguna)
Carla P. Gomez (Visayan Daily Star, Bacolod City)
Arman Toga, editor (Negros Daily Bulletin)
Ire Jo V.C. Laurente (DWOM-FM, Mindoro)
Julie S. Alipala, ( Inquirer Mindanao Bureau-Zamboanga City)
David Santos ( ABS-CBN Zamboanga City )
Vicente Jaime Villafranca (Philippine Graphic)
Ramon Acasio (Philippine Graphic)
Lynette Ordoñez-Luna (Independent)
Rollie Espina, Philippine Star and Negros Press Club
Ma. Ester Espina, Media Advocates for Reproductive Health and Empowerment
Delfin Perez (Manila Bulletin)
Gerry Albert Corpuz (contributor, Bulatlat.com)
Jofelle Tesorio (Bandillo ng Palawan)
Ansbert B. Joaquin (NUJP Olongapo-Subic)
Tony Bergonia (Inquirer)
Raul Marcelo (Inquirer)
Eric Olona (Inquirer)
Linda Bolido (Inquirer)
Chelo B. Formoso (Inquirer)
Fernando del Mundo (Inquirer)
Cenon Bibe Jr. (Inquirer)
Sandra Sendoyro (Inquirer)
Romina Austria (Inquirer)
Princess Daily Omilga (Inquirer)
Ernie Sarmiento (Inquirer)
Keith Bacongco (Business Mirror)
Jun Verzola (Northern Dispatch Weekly)
Delfin T. Mallari Jr. (Inquirer Southern Luzon-Quezon)
Dodong Solis (Radio Mindanao Networks-Davao)
Alexander Martin Remollino (Bulatlat Online Magazine, NUJP)
Dennis Maliwanag (inq7.net)
Ces Rodriguez (One Philippines)
Raffy Jimenez (GMANews.TV)
Ilang-Ilang Quijano (Pinoy Weekly)
Noel Sales Barcelona (Pinoy Weekly, NUJP)
Soliman A. Santos (Pinoy Weekly, NUJP/Elliptical Press Corps director)
Kenneth Roland A. Guda (Pinoy Weekly, NUJP)
D'Jay Lazaro (Pinoy Weekly managing editor, NUJP/NCPM Executive Director)
Rogelio L. Ordoñez (Pinoy Weekly EIC, NUJP/NPC)
Bayani Abadilla (Pinoy Weekly, News Editor, NUJP/NPC)
Roel Pareno (Philippine Star)
Frencie Carreon (Zamboanga Today)
Carol "Rollie" Montilla (Eastern Times, Malaya, KMC Magazine)
Carmelito Q. Francisco (BusinessWorld-Mindanao/Mindanao Times)
Veronica Uy (INQ7.net)
Thea Alberto (INQ7.net)
Noel Godinez (Nothern Dispatch Weekly)
Rudy D. Liporada (Editor, Kapitbahay, San Diego, California)
Lito Banayo (Columnist, Malaya and Abante)
Aquiles Z. Zonio (Inquirer Mindanao Bureau/NUJP-General Santos City)
Edith Regalado
Iris Cecilia Gonzales (BusinessWorld)
Ma. Ceres P. Doyo (Inquirer)
Bobby Tuazon ( Bulatlat.com)
Grace Albasin (Inquirer Mindanao Bureau/NUJP)
Danilo A. Arao ( Bulatlat.com)
Merpu P. Roa (Filipino Express/MindaNews)
Ermin Garcia Jr. (Sunday Punch)
Susan Palmes (NUJP-Cagayan de Oro)
Rommel G. Rebolido (NUJP-General Santos)
Artemio A. Dumlao (Philippine Star/NUJP)
Raymond Panaligan (freelance photographer)
Ellen Tordesillas ( Malaya)
Hadrian Hernandez (Gulf News, UAE)
Carlos Isagani T. Zarate (Columnist,Kris-Crossing Mindanao, Inquirer)
Edwin C. Mercurio (Philippine Press Club-Ontario, Canada)
Ninotchka Rosca (Novelist/journalist)
Michael Sarcauga (NUJP-Pagadian)
Ma. Diosa Labiste (NUJP-Iloilo/community journalist)
Nestor Burgos Jr. (Inquirer-Iloilo/NUJP)
Michael L. Ubac (Inquirer)
Ronnel Domingo (Inquirer)
Tarra Quismundo (Inquirer)
Philip Cesar Tubeza (Inquirer)
Marinel R. Cruz (Inquirer)
Kathryn L. Reyes (Inquirer)
Pamela Samia (Inquirer)
Robert Jaworski Abaño (Inquirer Northern Luzon Bureau)
Vincent Cabreza (Inquirer Northern Luzon Bureau)
Desiree Caluza (Inquirer Northern Luzon Bureau)
Jonathan Cellona (photojournalist, BusinessWorld)
Voltaire F. Domingo
Paul M. Gutierrez (Journal Group)
Gerry Kaimo
Gene de Loyola
Joel Salud (freelance writer)
Edralyn Benedicto (Inquirer Visayas Bureau)
Cheryll Fiel ( Davao Today/NUJP)
Grace Uddin ( Davao Today/NUJP)
Pam Pastor (Inquirer)
Psyche Mendoza
Gil Nartea (Philippine Center for Photojournalism)
Butch Hilario (freelance journalist)
Armando Malay Jr.
Ares P. Gutierrez (Al Nisr Media-Dubai/Gulf News)
Carlos H. Conde
Alexander T. Magno (GMA-News.TV )
Ricky Carandang (ANC)
Allan M. Mediante (Mindanao Trustee, Philippine Press Institute/Mindanao Gold Star Daily)
Jun Galias (NUJP-Sorsogon)
Manny Lucila (SONAR)
Bobby Q. Labalan (Inquirer Southern Luzon Bureau/NUJP)
Jose F. Lacaba
Jun Godoy (NUJP-Ozamiz City)

rey SC Makilan (Bulatlat.com/Silangan Shimbun)
Tony Abejo (Malindang Tribune/ NUJP-Misamis Occidental)
Florfina Marcelino (The Philippine Times, Winnepeg, Canada)
Erwin Oliva (INQ7.net/ cyberbaguioboy.com.ph)
Armin Adina (Inquirer Libre)
Ritchie Sabado (Inquirer Libre)
Bayani San Diego (Inquirer)
Cora Lucas (Inquirer)
Heraldo "Boy" Cabrido (Inquirer)
Raffy Lerma (Inquirer)
Grace Pagulayan (Inquirer)
Dennis Eroa (Inquirer Libre)
Rommel Lalata (Inquirer Libre)
John Nery (Inquirer)
Ariel Dim. Borlongan (Balita)
Rorie Fajardo (GMANews.TV)
Darwin Wee (BusinessWorld)
Leila Vicente (ABS-CBN Zamboanga)
Raul Valino (Philippine Graphic at Business Mirror)
Sonia M. Capio (Womantouch Media)
Allen V. Estabillo (MindaNews)
Al Alegre (Foundation for Media Alternatives)
Vi Massart, Chief European Correspondent, The Philippine Star)
Jon Joaquin (Mindanao Daily Mirror)
Martin Marfil (GMANews.TV)
Val Veneracion (GMANews.TV)
Clarissa Militante (GMANews.TV)
Jes Aznar (GMANews.TV)
Vic Montero (Editorial Chief, ABC 5)
Jackie Sierda (Executive Producer, The Big News, ABC 5)
Jove Francisco (Reporter, ABC 5)
Sherrie Ann Torres (Reporter, ABC 5)
Naomi Dayrit (Reporter, ABC 5)
Ge-Ann Pineda (Reporter, ABC 5)
Jason Torres (Reporter, ABC 5)
Michael Carreon (News writer, ABC 5)
Eric Montas (Senior Desk Offficer, News, ABC 5)
Mel Cabigting (Desk Officer, ABC 5)
Rowena Garcia (Desk Officer, ABC 5)
Paul Mendinuteo (Desk Officer, ABC 5)
Mary Grace Navarro (News Desk, ABC 5)
Greggy Eugenio (Video Researcher, News, ABC 5)
Gigi Gabriel (News Traffic, ABC 5)
Rhoneil Amores (Chief Cameraman, ABC 5)
Joseph Martiin (Graphics Artist, ABC 5)
Reggie Agullo (Chargen Operator, ABC 5)
Arnold Marquez (Supervisor, VTR Editing)
Arnold Macarasig (Playback Operator, News, ABC 5)
Norman Balcos (Video Researcher, News, ABC-5)
Ambet Quitil (VTR Editor, News, ABC 5)
Heinrich Agcaoili (VTR Editor, News, ABC 5)
Yancy Consul (VTR Editor, ABC 5)
Jim Libiran (Head, Public Affairs Department, ABC5)
Ed Lingao (Head, News Department, ABC 5)
Deo Bugaoisan (GMA7)
Lourdes Fernandez (Editor, Business Mirror)
Lyn Resurreccion (Business Mirror)
Dave Llorito (Business Mirror)
Fe Zamora (Inquirer)
Butch Galicia (Manila Media Monitor-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Tenny Soriano (Balita-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Mogi Mogado (Balita-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Hermie Garcia (Philippine Reporter-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Mila Astorga-Garcia (Philippine Reporter-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Edwin Mercurio (Philippine Reporter-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Ramon Datol (Philippine Courier-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Paul Dela Cruz (Philippine Times Canada-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Jess Cabrias (Atin Ito-Toronto/Philippine Press Club-Ontario)
Arnel Avila (NUJP-Quezon)
Ely Suyom (Manila Times)
Abner Bolos (Gitnang Luzon News Service)
Fred Villareal (Gitnang Luzon News Service)
Jay Torres (Pokus-Gitnang Luson)
Tonette Orejas (Inquirer Northern Luzon Bureau-Pampanga)
Romer S. Sarmiento (Businessworld Mindanao Bureau)
Carolyn O. Arguillas (Mindanews)
H. Marcos C. Mordeno (Mindanews)
Carmela Fonbuena (Newsbreak)
Glenda M. Gloria (Newsbreak)
Jose Pavia (Mabuhay/Executive Director, Philippine Press Institute)
Ruperto Toga (Publisher, Negros Daily Bulletin)
Elsie Jolingan (Negros Press Club)
Aufred Sa-onoy (Editor, Negros Newsweekly)
Modesto Sa-onoy (Negros Press Club)
Henry Cestina (Negros Press Club)
Jeffrey Gelangre (Negros Press Club)
Edmund Aspero (Congress of Active Media Practitioners)
Ferdinand Yngson (Congress of Active Media Practitioners)
Vicente S. Labro (Editor, Leyte-Samar Daily Express, Tacloban City)
Allan Nawal (Inquirer)
Rollie Carolina L. Montilla (Eastern Times, Malaya, KMC magazine/NUJP-Leyte)
Red Batario (Executive Director, Center for Community Journalism and Development)
Harley Palangchao (Manila Times Northern Luzon Bureau)
Jim Cristobal (Voice of Talamban, Cebu)
Arlyn dela Cruz (Net25)
Amalia Cabusao (Mindanao Times)
Melvin Gascon (Inquirer Cagayan Valley)
Lyn Ramo (Northern Dispatch Weekly)
Hazel Villa (Inquirer Iloilo)
Jay Hilotin (Al Nisr Media/Filipino Press Club-UAE)
Peterson Bergado (NUJP Cagayan de Oro)
Charlie Senase (Inquirer Cotabato City)
Malu Manar (Program Director, DXND Kidapawan)
Noel Punzalan (PNA Cotabato)
Andy Cruz (Periodico Banat GenSan)
Dodge Dillague (Creative Director, News, ABC 5)
Ross Andres (News Programs Director, ABC 5)
Jefferson Tan (Associate Producer, Frontlines, ABC 5)
Arlene Lim farol (Reporter, ABC 5)
Teresa Andrada (Reporter, ABC 5)
Faye Tobias (Reporter, ABC 5)
Divine Bucud (Field Producer, ABC 5)
Vincent Cristobal (Field Producer, ABC 5)
Bart De la Rosa (Technical Director, ABC 5)
Rolly Casipit (VTR Editor, ABC 5)
Gilbert Edradan (Sound Engineer, News, ABC 5)
Noel Malaluan (Sound Engineer, News, ABC 5)
Adonis Silverio (Cameraman, ABC 5)
Rose Silva (Supervisor, Finance Department, ABC 5)
Ariel P. Alimboyao (Lightman, News, ABC 5)
Carlos Jizmundo (President, ABC 5 Employees Union)
George Aquino (VTR Editor, ABC 5)
Peng Lomaad (Property Custodian, ABC 5)
Rose Chua (News Administrative Staff, ABC 5)
John Javellana (Cameraman, ABC 5)
Edward Navarette (Manager, News Operations, ABC 5)
Ali Sotto (News Anchor, Sentro, ABC 5)
Yvette Lee (Philippine Graphic)
Edgar Cadagat (NUJP Negros Oriental)
Julius Mariveles (news director, Aksyon Radyo-Bacolod)
JJ Deocampo (station manager, Aksyon Radyo-Bacolod)
Ely de los Santos (Congress of Active Media Practitioners)
Fred Sapa (Congress of Active Media Practitioners)
Fred Salanga (Congress of Active Media Practitioners)
Raymond Robert Burgos (Columnist, Abante and Abante Tonite)
Williamor A. Magbanua (Anchor/Program Coordinator/News writer, DXND)
Christopher R. Lim (Manila Times School of journalism)
Perry M. Calara (Kaiba News and Features/KNF/Pinoy Gazette)
Edwin G. Espejo (Sunstar General Santos)
Herbie Gomez (Gold Star Daily, Cagayan de Oro)
Adrian Cristobal (Philippine Graphic and Manila Bulletin)
Nick Legaspi (Managing Editor, Philippine Graphic)
Susan Bernas (Philippine Graphic)
Louie Jon Sanchez (Philippine Graphic)
Malou Francisco (Philippine Graphic)
Joel Egco (Manila Standard/Association of Responsible Media)
Anthonnette G. Adanza (Davao Del Sur Diurnal Newspaper)
Arnel Arsolon (DXBB GenSan)
Manny Autida (DXBB GenSan)
Edwin Espejo (Managing Editor, SunStar GenSan)
Bong Gonzales (RMN General Santos)
Cris Guarin (DXBB, General Santos)
John Paul Jubelag (Phil. Star, General Santos)
Jeffrey Jubelag (Mindanao Bulletin, General Santos)
Joseph Jubelag (Malaya, General Santos)
Al Josol (RMN General Santos)
Mel Koronel (RMN General Santos)
Isagani Palma (Manila Times, General Santos)
Arnie Delfin (Radyo Bombo Koronadal)
Jocelyn Uy (Inquirer)
Minerva Generalao (Inquirer)
Mel Lawrence de Guzman (Inquirer)
Maricar D. Tolosa (Inquirer)
Kate Pedroso (Inquirer)
Cyril L. Bonabente (Inquirer)
Sylvia Calderon (Freelance Journalist, Cotabato City)
Brenda S. Dacpano (nordis.net, Baguio)
Kimberlie Quitasol (nordis.net, Baguio)
Pink-Jean Fangon Melegrito (Northern Dispatch Weekly, Baguio)
Nestor Guillermo (Northern Dispatch Weekly, Baguio)
Arthur Allad-iw (Northern Dispatch Weekly, Baguio)
Kathleen Okubo (NUJP-Baguio-Benguet)
Benny Antiporda (National Press Club/Alyansa ng Filipinong Mamamahayag)
Sharon Felipe (Sunday Inquirer Magazine)
Lynett A. Villariba (inquirer)
Hernan S. de la Cruz (Inquirer Mindanao)
Roy Luarca (Inquirer)
Alya D. Honasan (Sunday Inquirer Magazine)
Pennie de la Cruz (Sunday Inquirer Magazine)
Marites Danguilan Vitug (Newsbreak)
Cheri Mercado (News Anchor, The Big News, ABC 5)
John Susi (Anchor, Sentro, ABC 5)
Jade Lopez (Head, Research Group, ABC 5)
Erel Cabatbat (Reporter, ABC 5)
Jesus Ramos (Field Producer, ABC 5)
Ed De Guzman (Cameraman, ABC 5)
Noli Gaya (Cameraman, ABC 5)
Ding Ubaldo (Assistant Cameraman, ABC 5)
Arnel Dizon (Assistant Cameraman, ABC 5)
Antonio T. Gabriel (Assistant Cameraman, ABC 5)
Nonoy Solero (VTR Editor, ABC 5)
Roland Bensan (VTR Editor, ABC 5)
Mando Covate (Systems Engineer, ABC 5)
Crispin Yumang (Audioman, ABC 5)
John Alquel Santos (Chargen Operator, ABC 5)
Pinky Dichoso (Supervisor, News Administration, ABC 5)
Cristina Estacio (Supervisor, Merchandising Dep't., ABC 5)
Raymund Generoso (Supervisor, Post-Production, Guiness Show, ABC 5)
Gail Ilagan (Columnist, MindaNews)
Patrick Cabrillos (dyKA, Catholic Media Network)
John Pagunsan ( HOT FM. 106-9 - HAMTIC,Antique)
Hector S. Udani, jr. (News Express-Antique Bureau)
Romeo Antonio ( HOT. FM. 106-9 - Hamtic,Antique)
Paul Petinglay ( Bombo Radyo Correspondent-Antique)
Jhie Zerrudo ( Jounrnal Visayas)
Peter Zaldivar ( HOT FM 106.9 Hamtic, Antique)
Julito P. Bale?a , Jr. Express --Antique Bureau)
Gina Apostol
Imelda Visaya-Abano (Womens Feature Services, Philippine Gazette, SEJ)
Manuel T. Cayon (BusinessMirror)
Cesar S. Ramirez(Phil.STAR)
Villamor Visaya Jr. (Inquirer Northern Luzon)
Frank Cimatu (Inquirer Northern Luzon)
Maurice Malanes (Inquirer Northern Luzon )
Peter La. Julian (Inquirer Northern Luzon)
Jo Clemente (Inquirer Central Luzon)
Russell Arador (Inquirer Central Luzon)
Jun Malig (Inquirer Centrral Luzon)
Franco Emman von Cena (Inquirer)
Jani Arnaiz (President, Associated Media of Southern Leyte, Maasin City)
Ramon Tulfo (Inquirer/Bandera)
Erwin Tulfo (People’s Journal/DZAR)
Manny Marinay (Bulletin Today)
Ma. Antonieta Lopez (Philippine Star)
Gilbert Bayoran (Daily Star, Bacolod)
Carla Canet (Negros Daily Bulletin)
Annie Calderon (Media Advocates for Reproductive Health)
Rolly Fernandez (Bureau Chief, Inquirer Northern Luzon)
Amadis Ma. Guerrero
Luis V. Teodoro (Professor of Journalism, UP/columnist, Business Mirror)
Oscar Evangelista (Palawan Community Media Council)
Ben Serrano (Philippine Star/Caraga Times)
Walter I. Balane (MindaNews)
Perfecto Caparas
Mela Castillo (Antonio Zumel Center for Press Freedom)
Edgar Crisostomo Cadano (Riyadh, Saudi Arabia)
Justin V. Nicolas (Adviser, PUP Sociological Review)
Jeremiah M. Opiniano (OFW Journalism Consortium, Inc.)
May Rodriguez (NUJP)
Joel Saracho (ABS-CBN-News.com)
Angelo Gutierez (ABS-CBN-News.com)
Trina Lagura (ABS-CBN-News.com)
Aleta Nieva (ABS-CBN-News.com)

From Abroad:
Christopher Warren (Chairperson, International Federation of Journalists)
Aidan White (General Secretary, IFJ)
Jacqueline Park (IFJ)
Emma Walters (IFJ)
Pi James (IFJ)
Laxmi Murthy (IFJ)
Mike Dobbie (IFJ)
Roby Alampay (Executive Director, Southeast Asian Press Alliance)
Ashok Malik (Chandigarh Journalists Association, India)
Sonia Randhawa (Centre for Independent Journalism, Malaysia)
H.Naranjargal (Globe International)
D.Munkhburen (Globe International)
G.Narangarav (Globe International)
T. Davaahuu (Globe International)
D.Enkhtuul (Globe International)
J.Enkhjargal(Globe International)
Ch.Munkhzul (NTV)
B.Galaarid (indivudual)
Byanbajal (Confederation of Mongolian Journalists)
Sarangerel (CMJ)
Gerard Noonan (The Sydney Morning Herald, Australia)
Jim NOlan (Barrister, Australia )
Alan Kennedy (President, Media Alliance, Australia )
Ruth Polland (President, Media Alliance NSW Branch , Australia)
Wesley Chua (Ming Pao Daily, Toronto, Canada )
Yuko Takei (freelance journalist, Tokyo)
Jojo Pasion Malig (Committee of Concerned Journalists, Washington D.C./Newslink Services Philippines)
Yoshi Okuda (freelance journalist/former president of Japan broadcasting labor Union)
Ati Nurbaiti (The Jakarta Post / Alliance of Independent Journalists)
Darma Lubis (Freelance journalist, Medan City, North Sumatra)
Brent Edwards (Chairman, The Print and Media Council of the NZ Engineering, Printing and Manufacturing Union)
Dr. N.K.Trikha (President, National Union of Journalists or NUJI)
P. Chaudhuri (Secretary General, NUJI)
Heru Hendratmoko (President, Alliance of Independent Journalists, Indonesia)
Abdul Manan (General Secretary, the Alliance of Independent Journalists, Indonesia)
Khairuzzaman Kamal (Editor, Human Rights News of Bangladesh)
Dharmasiri Lankapeli (Federation Of Media Employee's Trade Unions)
Daniel Coronell (Semana Magazine, Columbia)
Serenade Lai Wan Woo (President, Hong Kong Journalists Association)
Tien Hsi Ju (President, Association of Taiwan Journalists)
Liu Kuei Lan (Secretary General, Association of Taiwan Journalists)
Carol Chou (Journalist, Liberty Times, Taiwan)
Esong Chiu (Editor, Weekly Department, Taiwan)
Ho Jung Shin (Senior journalist, China Times,Taiwan)

(as of October 2, 2006)

Red Tag

2006-09-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

Arroyo and Her Goebellian Propaganda*
18 September 2006
metrica, manila

In a desperate attempt to cling to power, Pres. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is now on her way to becoming the Adolf Hitler of this generation. With the number of people denouncing her presidency growing exponentially, her administration has resorted to aggressive red baiting, mercilessly ganging up on personalities and organizations as enemies of the state.

This move is Arroyo government’s response to wind up the brewing political crisis. It has applied the Goebellian propaganda to break the backbone of anti-Arroyo groups. Losing its control over its constituents, it has now become trigger-happy, exhibiting its expertise in employing goons, guns and grenades to silence and cow those who are going against its underlying interests.

The overt singling out of people and organizations as enemies of the state has justified the already intensifying human rights violations in the country. It has given more pretexts to the extensive spate of killings, abductions and political repression which never have been as rampant as these times, even during the Martial Law period. In just five years in power, this government has accumulated a whopping record of more than 300 cases of killings, with abduction and political repression mounting up to hundreds of thousands, enough to put former dictator Pres. Ferdinand Marcos to shame. These atrocious activities have been committed in the broad of the day and the dead of the night, in the market or in school or on the street, in the most gruesome and ghastly manner. Under the Arroyo administration, the Philippines has become nothing but a mere slaughter house.

This red baiting tactic however, falls short to placate and feed the hungry mouths of the Filipino people. Rather than being cowed by the sight and sound of the hails of bullets, they are prepared to face the consequences. Already numbed by the way this government has treated them, they are ready to stake their lives and fight for what have been left for them.

Otherwise, the Philippines will forever be a mass grave.

*a reference to Joseph Goebells, propaganda minister of German dictator Adolf Hitler

Autonomy Under Siege

2006-09-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

The Philippine Collegian and RA 9184

The Philippine Collegian bears witness to a lasting tradition of independence as a student institution. It is a publication funded solely by the students, and for years has served as a salient representation of academic freedom and democratic rights. Throughout history, UP students have vigilantly fought for the publication's autonomy from all forms of administration intervention.

Once again, the Collegian's autonomy is under siege.

Using Republic Act 9184 or the Government Procurement Reform Act, the UP administration since June 2006 has blocked the release of the Collegian's printing funds. According to the administration's interpretation of RA 9184, all fees collected by the university are government funds—including the Collegian's funds. Under this false assumption, the UP administration insists that the bidding and selection of the publication’s printing press be facilitated not by the Collegian editorial board, but by the administration itself.

However, the Collegian firmly asserts that it is exempt from RA 9184. It is not a government unit, as it is funded only by the students. Moreover, the Campus Journalism Act of 1991 stipulates that the editorial board should facilitate the selection of the publication’s printing press. The administration’s sole task is to collect the publication fee during registration, and thereafter give full discretion of handling of Collegian fund to the duly selected editorial board. The administration may not intervene in any of the publication’s operations.

In response to the Collegian’s arguments against RA 9184, the UP administration continues to deny the institution of its right to bidding autonomy. In our dialogues, the administration even questions the publication’s “independence” as basis for its exemption from the particular law.
We, from the Collegian, cannot accept this kind of reasoning. To allow the Collegian to subject itself to RA 9184 is tantamount to surrendering its autonomy as a student institution. Even now that the publication’s inclusion in the law is still in question, the UP administration is withholding the publication’s printing fund to coerce the Collegian to submission. Such is why the previous Collegian issues were delayed, while pending issues have not been printed. RA 9184 thus compromises the publication’s fiscal autonomy.

Moreover, allowing the Collegian to subject itself to RA 9184 would set a precedent for the UP administration to thereafter inflict the same law and intervene in the operations of publications and other student institutions in all UP units. In fact, the UP Diliman University Student Council’s publication Oblation is also being subjected to this law.

We from the Collegian view the administration’s insistence to subject the publication to RA 9184 as an assault against the publication’s autonomy. We call on the administration to recognize fully the independence of the Collegian as a student publication. We demand that the administration uphold the Collegian’s fiscal autonomy, specifically its right to facilitate the bidding process.

The Collegian is accountable only to the students, who are its sole publishers. Thus, we call on all students to protect the autonomy of the publication. This issue is a clear manifestation of administration intervention, and a direct attack on campus press freedom.

Uphold the Collegian’s autonomy!

Defend campus press freedom!

Protect the independence of all student institutions and organizations!

Paalam Rando

2006-09-17T03:46:00.000-07:00

07 september 2006
makati city

Aside from my ability to watch TV, read Milan Kundera's or Gabriel Garcia Marquez's, eat handful of peanuts or any chichiria, do homework and pull strands of hair in one breath, one of the few things that I can take pride of is my sharp memory. For so long a time, it has been my anchor to survive the turbulent waves of life. Time and again, it has proven to be my effective tool in asserting that I am a force to reckon with, as I could make my friends and former classmates pee in their pants by unearthing and reliving their Sub Rosa they are struggling to put six feet under their memories.

The only difficult thing about it is that it can never be overwhelmed. No matter how you try to bury your nightmares into oblivion, they would continuously hunt you. That has been my situation upon learning that Rando, a former classmate, fell prey to the misfortune.

It was exactly Rando's 26th birthday when it happened. Just went outside to buy some food to treat his friends, he was victimized by recless driving. He died struggling to hold on to his breath on the pavement of Nueva Ecija where he was working as an engineer. It was a life too short for a man whose dream was so immense.

Rando never complained. For the six years that we were together, I couldn't think of any instance where he had a fall out with one of my bully classmates. Whenever he was put into a bad light, he would just smile and shrug his shoulders. Patience it was that he used in dealing with the intricacies of life.

It was in the bus station that I last spoke to Rando. I was going back to Manila and he was reporting to his work in Nueva Ecija. I spent the whole time griping about the delay of the bus, while Rando was seriously planning to host a class reunion to trace the whereabouts of our classmates.

When at last the bus arrived, we went in separate ways with different thoughts hovering on our heads - I, still singing the blues of not arriving to Manila at my desired time, and Rando, excitedly outlining the framework for the reunion.

Rando will be absent in the reunion that he initiated. Yet, he will be with his memories indelibly etched on our minds.

Indeed, memories are all we have.

Going Mobile: Text Messages Guide Filipino Protesters

2006-09-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

By Mary Jordan
Washington Post Foreign Service
Friday, August 25, 2006; A01

MANILA -- Raymond Palatino's cellphone pinged loudly, and a text message lit up the display: "Other students are already marching. Where are you?"

Palatino and hundreds of others -- nearly all carrying cellphones -- were on their way to Manila's gated presidential palace for a protest rally. Palatino and what people here call a "text brigade" were still a couple of miles away, about to board buses in the steamy midday heat.

"No, not ready," he typed, holding his phone in both hands, his thumbs flying across the buttons. "We're 30 minutes away."

In a string of unsolved murders in recent months, trade union leaders, government critics, students, journalists and others have been killed. Students had begun clamoring for President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo to do something.

Once they might have called a demonstration by printing fliers. Now, they do it by mass texting. Palatino had spent days getting the word out, banging out text after text on the keypad of his little Nokia phone.

"WEAR RED. BRING BANNERS." The messages -- faster and cheaper than phone calls -- went to thousands of young people, telling them to gather near Morayta Street.

"I didn't talk to anyone," said Palatino, 26, a university graduate who has a contagious smile and aspires to be a teacher. "All the organizing is done through texting. It's affordable and instant."
Cellphones and text messaging are changing the way political mobilizations are conducted around the world. From Manila to Riyadh and Kathmandu protests once publicized on coffeehouse bulletin boards are now organized entirely through text-messaging networks that can reach vast numbers of people in a matter of minutes.

The technology is also changing the organization and dynamics of protests, allowing leaders to control, virtually minute-by-minute, the movements of demonstrators, like military generals in the field. Using texts that communicate orders instantly, organizers can call for advances or retreats of waves of protesters.

This tool has changed the balance of political power in places where governments have a history of outmuscling dissent. In April, Nepal's King Gyanendra ordered authorities to cut cellphone service after protesters against his absolute rule used text messages to help assemble street protests by tens of thousands of democracy advocates.

The Philippines, widely called the text-messaging center of the world, has led the way. When President Joseph Estrada was forced from office in 2001, he bitterly complained that the popular uprising against him was a "coup de text."

This country of 85 million people has only 2 million Internet users and 3 million people with land-line telephones. But there are more than 30 million cellphone subscribers here, according to government statistics, more than double the figure in 2002.

Initially, mobile phone companies offered free texting. Today, a text message still costs just 2 cents, a fraction of a call. A typical Filipino mobile phone user sends about eight texts a day, spending far more time texting than talking.

Every major Philippine political party and nonprofit group has a database of its supporters' cellphone numbers. Many use computers to automatically generate mass text mailings to those phones with news about issues or rallies or upcoming votes.

"When Estrada was ousted, we realized the power of texting," said Palatino, the slight, well-spoken president of a national youth party. "Since then we have never stopped using it to advance our causes."

At 1:30 p.m. on a recent day, Palatino and three students lingered near the doughnut case in the 7-Eleven on a congested corner of Morayta Street. They stood in the air-conditioned cool, cellphones in hand, waiting for a text.

Outside in the sweltering sunshine, amid street kiosks selling goods from iced coconut drinks to 1973 National Geographic magazines, other young people stood around, trying to blend in and avoid the notice of a few police officers who walked up and down, watching. Some of the students carried rolled-up banners that said "Stop the Killings." Each clutched a cellphone.

They knew police had been ordered to disperse unauthorized crowds near the presidential palace and would not hesitate to use wooden batons and water cannons to do it. So organizers wanted to make sure that everyone converged at the same time to make the rally harder to break up.

Soon Palatino's phone was alive with a flurry of texts from coordinators and marchers anxious to start.

One asked: "Are the media here?"

About a dozen TV cameramen and newspaper photographers gathered outside. They, too, had been summoned by text.

At 1:45, Palatino's phone pinged again, this time with the message: "ASSEMBLE RIGHT NOW!"
A smile crossed his face. With a few more taps of his thumbs, he forwarded the command down the text brigade ranks. He sent it to those on his phone list, and each who received it did the same. In seconds, about 1,000 students were in the street, stopping traffic and sending cars and bicycle taxis scattering.

Two students quickly hooked up a public address system to the battery of a vehicle. One by one, leaders climbed on top of it to fire up the crowd. Palatino demanded that President Arroyo do more to end the killings and allocate more money for universities.
"Books, not bullets!" he shouted.

The all-at-once strategy worked: The police were caught off guard. Only a few officers were on the scene, and they quickly pulled out their own cellphones to make urgent voice calls. Within minutes, scores more officers arrived.

They lined up to block the demonstrators. Many wore helmets and carried riot shields. A red firetruck arrived at the intersection. It stopped, its water cannon pointed at the crowd.

Palatino looked at the growing confrontation, worry creeping across his face for the first time. "It will be a success if we can stay long enough to get our message out," he said.

As the speeches continued, a police commander negotiated with a female protest leader.
At 2:38, she stepped away and composed a text, which she sent to Palatino and eight other organizers. In a mixture of Tagalog and English, the country's two official languages -- a popular combination known as Taglish -- she called for a meeting to plan their next move.

They huddled in the middle of the street like a football team. It started to rain.

The protest was a success, the leaders agreed. It had lasted an hour already and surely would make the evening news. They worried about the police, but decided to take their chances and keep going. They agreed to press on toward Mendiola Street, historically a popular protest site within sight of the presidential compound.

They knew they couldn't break through the police lines. So they decided to take a different route, Bustillos Street, which the police might not expect.

Then came the next mass text command. "BUSTILLOS!"

At first, the police looked pleased: The students were retreating. Then, they realized the protesters were only changing course. Officers hustled into new positions and cut off the crowd closer to the palace.

At 3:30, violence broke out. The students retreated, police running after them, hitting them across the back, head and arms with batons. Thwack! Thwack!

Caught up in the melee, ducking from the swinging batons, Palatino heard his phone ping loudly.

"GET OUT OF THERE. You are in a dangerous place," warned the text, from a friend who could see that Palatino was about to be pinned between the crowd and a wall.
An officer grabbed Palatino.

"ID! ID! Now!" the red-faced officer demanded.

A small group of officers closed in around Palatino, whose eyes were suddenly wide with terror.
Students who saw it quickly typed a text alert to others, using Palatino's nickname: "Mong is being arrested."

But as suddenly as they had grabbed him, the police let him go and ran off to help another group of officers who were beating a group of students.

Relieved but shaken, Palatino walked quickly toward a Shakey's Pizza on España Boulevard, where earlier texts had instructed everyone to meet once the protest ended. As he walked, his phone pinged loudly with text after text.

Like other leaders, Palatino was responsible for making sure everyone in his group was safe and accounted for.

Texts of "WHERE ARE YOU?" raced through the crowd.

After an hour, 10 people out of the 1,000 had not replied. So organizers dispatched people to police stations and hospitals to check for the missing.

An hour later, students started filtering home in time for the 6:30 news, which was filled with graphic scenes of police officers beating the young protesters.

Just after 7 p.m., Palatino received a text with the final tally: 34 students injured, eight seriously. Ten people detained, then released.

"Before, we had no choice but to keep quiet and listen to the president," Palatino said, still holding his tiny phone. "This is a development for democracy."

In Defense of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

2006-08-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

07 August 2006
makati city

When I was a kid, I never dreamt of becoming a president. I have known that the task has always been hard, and no matter how you struggle to perform well, the fact is that you cannot please everybody.

These days, I have thought of something that is much harder than being the president. That is, being in the shoes of Pres. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Just exactly how hard it is to be PGMA?

1.It takes galls and guts to prove that you won "fair and square" during the presidential polls last May 2004.

While some of us may find it too easy, it would be making things possible if you were to fill in the shoes of GMA as there are a lot of fingers, with overwhelming and sufficient evidence, that pinpoints you not just a loser, but a cheater on that election.

GMA: "So will I still lead by 1 million overall?"
Garci: "Pipilitin ho natin ’yan." ("We will do everything to make it so.")
("Hello Garci" tape, May-June 2004. GMA made no less than 15 calls to Garci for several weeks after the elections. As a result, she got a lead of more than half a million in Muslim Mindanao, universally regarded as FPJ’s bailiwick.)

2.It takes a lot of skills and talent to appear and act in a manner that you are not used to, such as going to the slums to pretend that you are "para sa masa", coming before the public looking sorry for the victims of the spate of killings and human rights violations and appearing to be in fighting form against corruption.

Indeed, who would ever forget the sudden shift of the mood of the president when she explained and apologized for her direct intervention on the elections of 2004? From a tough-looking iron woman who could turn a person into a stone with a single blink of an eye, she suddenly metamorphosed into a kind lamb that looked incapable of committing any untoward activity.

"I was anxious to protect my votes and during that time had conversations with many people, including a Comelec official. My intent was not to influence the outcome of the election, and it did not. As I mentioned, the election has already been decided and the votes counted. And as you remember, the outcome had been predicted by every major public opinion poll, and adjudged free, fair and decisive by international election observers, and our own Namfrel.

"That said; let me tell you how I personally feel. I recognize that making any such call was a lapse in judgment. I am sorry. I also regret taking so long to speak before you on this matter. I take full responsibility for my actions and to you and to all those good citizens who may have had their faith shaken by these events, I want to assure you that I have redoubled my efforts to serve the nation and earn your trust."

(July 2005).

In the harshest possible terms, I condemn political killings. We together stopped judicial executions with the abolition of the death penalty. We urge witnesses to come forward. Together we will stop extrajudicial executions.

(State of the Nation Address, July 24, 2006)

3. It is not easy to cook up reasons and rhetoric to explain the current turmoil our society is battling with. Jargon, statistics and sound bites, however impressive and outstanding they are, have fallen short to overshadow the face of poverty and crises.

"I am not here to talk about politics; I am here to talk about what the people want; details on the State of the Nation and what their government is doing to make progress every single day.Sama-sama nating isusulong ang bansa patungo sa kinabukasang nagniningning.Gaya ng nakikita sa graph na ito, dahil sa ating reporma sa ekonomiya, we now have the funds to address social inequity and economic disparity. Too many ... masyadong marami, ang mamamayang nagugutom.

Hindi ako hihinto hanggang magtagumpay ang ating laban sa kahirapan.We now have the funds to stamp out terrorism and lawless violence.May pondo na tayo para labanan ang katiwalian.Our reforms have earned us P1 billion from the U.S. Millennium Challenge Account for more investigators, prosecutors, and new technology to fight corruption. We are matching this with another billion from our fiscal savings.

We now have the funds for constitutional and electoral changes. Sa kasalukuyang sistema, napakabagal ng proseso, at bukas sa labis na pagtutunggali, at sikil ang lalawigan at mamamayan sa paghahari ng Imperial Manila. Panahon nang ibalik ang kapangyarihan sa taumbayan at lalawigan.

For surely, there must be a better way to do politics, so that those who lose elections do not make the country pay for their frustrated ambitions. There must be a better way so that those who win the nation's mandate to govern can work without delay and whimsical obstruction. There must be a better way."

(State of the Nation Address, 24 July 2006)

Aside from that, you have to be imaginative and fictitious to vamp up more pledges and promises especially that the people are now breathing on your neck. You have to explore new and catchy phrases, and have to try every means to deceive/convince people to rally behind you.

"We will expand President Ramos' flagship San Roque Multipurpose Dam with the massive Agno River Project. Another major project is the Banaoang Irrigation. We allocate P200 million a month for small irrigation projects like those in the flood control plan of the Region II Development Council headed by Bishop Ramon Villena. Plus another P200 million a month for farm to market roads.

Also in the works is an international airport in Poro, La Union and the improvement of the 2 airports in Batanes as recommended by Governor Vic Gato. Ilocos Sur will have a seaport in Salomague while the Cagayan Zone Authority will better the one in Port Irene.

To save dollars, windmills in Batanes and Ilocos Norte turn megawinds into megawatts. When Army Commander Romy Tolentino was North Luzon commander, he became a soldier-farmer, planting jatropha as yet another alternative fuel.The Metro Luzon Urban Beltway spans most of Central Luzon, Metro Manila, Calabarzon, Mindoro and Marinduque. It must be a globally competitive urban, industrial and services center, because it produces more than half of the country's GDP.

To be world-class we invest in five comprehensive strategies for global competitiveness:
1. Make food plentiful and affordable to keep our labor cost globally competitive.
2. Reduce the cost of electricity to make our factories regionally competitive.
3. Modernize infrastructure at least cost to efficiently transport goods and people.
4. Mobilize, upgrade and disseminate knowledge and technologies for productivity.
5. Reduce red tape in all agencies to cut business costs.The most prohibitive red tape is in our outmoded Constitution. We need Constitutional change to bring our rules of investment into the new millennium

The new public bidding process has been shortened to 45 days for infrastructure, and 26 days for supplies, as of today. Even before this, Metro Manila firms paying bribes for public contracts declined from 57% in 2003 to 46 today. Congratulations, Metro Manila

Machine-readable electronic passports will enhance the credibility of Philippine travel documents, improve the mobility and increase the prospects of Philippine business and labor. "

(State of the Nation Address, 24 July 2006)

4. You have to be at ease rubbing elbows with the butchers and criminals. In all the occasions, you have to make sure that you acknowledge them, appreciating all their efforts even these have meant blatant use of guns, goons and grenades to silence those who prefer to speak up. For they are your last recourse, they are the pillars of your own version of democracy.

"Sa ganitong mga proyekto, palalakasin natin ang ekonomiya ng mga barangay at lalawigan. And we will end the long oppression of barangays by rebel terrorists who kill without qualms, even their own. Sa mga lalawigang sakop ng 7th Division, nakikibaka sa kalaban si Jovito Palparan. Hindi siya aatras hanggang makawala sa gabi ng kilabot ang mga pamayanan at maka-ahon sa bukang-liwayway ng hustisya at kalayaan."

(State of the Nation Address, 24 July 2006)

5. Can you spend your nights sharing bed with Mike Arroyo? You have to, because he is your husband (at least in the eye of the people) even though just looking at him spoils your day. You have to project a very good wife to him even if he always steals the limelight from you from his infamous (mis) adventures.

You should keep your blood level, as you have to tolerate his unwanted activities such as his addiction to jueteng, etc.

6. You should accept Mikey Arroyo as your son even if his movies, which all flopped, make you puke. Like father like son as he is, you have no choice at all.

7. No matter how you have glued yourself to power, you are now trembling down to your knees at the sight of millions of people challenging your supremacy. Your tricks aimed at deceiving these people are a failure and you have no resort at all but to silence them with the hails of bullets.

Should I be Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, I would rather go out of my office to save my face.

Where are our students?

2006-08-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

From the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism blog:

Former UP student leaders condemn abductions, return of 'state-sponsored terrorism'

IT’S been over a month since University of the Philippines students Karen Empeño and Sheryl Cadapan have disappeared, along with their companion, farmer Manuel Merino, all of whom were reportedly forcibly taken by soldiers in Bulacan last June 26. The three remain missing despite the Supreme Court’s grant of the petition for habeas corpus filed by the students’ parents ordering the military to produce them in court last July 24.

The disappearance of two of its students — Empeño is with the Sociology Department of the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy while Cadapan is with the College of Human Kinetics — has alarmed the UP Diliman community. In a July 12 resolution, the University Council, a body composed of faculty members, said it feared for the lives of the two, greatly concerned over the Arroyo government’s inaction about their disappearance.

Recently, former student leaders who served in the University Student Council (USC) in the Diliman campus have added their voices to express concern and condemnation of the two students’ abduction in the dead of night, calling it the “ultimate act of cowardice.”

The council alumni, which include Senator Francis Pangiinan and former education undersecretary Chito Gascon, both former USC chairpersons, also lashed out at the return of “state-sponsored terrorism” unheard of since the time of Marcos, and Arroyo’s lack of concern for the fate of the two students. (see statement below)

Meanwhile, Court of Appeals Associate Justice Jose Catral Mendoza ordered last week the group of Major General Jovito Palparan, commander of the 7th Infantry Division in whose area of jurisdiction the students were last seen, to produce them in court during the hearing tomorrow.

But the military says it cannot comply with the appelate court’s order, denying that any of its troops is holding the two students and Merino. Army chief Lieutenant General Romeo Tolentino even suggested that activists who have been reported missing may have gone underground and joined the communist New People’s Army (NPA).

Tolentino said the alleged abductions being blamed on the Army may only be a ploy to cover up the fact that they went underground. The Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP), through spokesman Gregorio Rosal, however dismissed the claim as “absurd,” citing reports that several witnesses have pointed to the military or police as the perpetrators in most of the cases of disappearances.

As if alluding to Tolentino’s insinuation, Palparan, who guested via phone patch at the “Debate” talk show on GMA-7 last week, also kept saying that night that they have a certain Ka Tanya and Ka Siera in their custody after their arrest in Hagonoy.

Yesterday, the mothers of the two missing UP students went to the Army headquarters in Malolos to confront Lt. Col. Rogelio Boac, Task Force Bulacan commander, about Palparan’s claim but he denied any knowledge of the supposed arrest of two women NPA rebels.

Below is the text of the former student leaders’ statement:

UP DILIMAN USC ALUMNI STATEMENT ON THE ABDUCTION

OF KAREN EMPENO AND SHERLYN CADAPAN

Diliman, Quezon City

University of the Philippines, Diliman students Karen Empeño and Sherlyn Cadapan were abducted by armed men around 2 a.m. on June 26. It has been a month since the students were taken and there is no word on their whereabouts or any indication that the government is acting on their forced abduction.
We are former members of the University Student Council, fellow student leaders and friends of Ms Karen Empeño and Sherlyn Cadapan.

We are deeply concerned that student leaders and activists are being threatened by the government.

We condemn the ultimate act of cowardice when masked armed men come in the dead of night to drag students from homes.

We condemn the return of state-sponsored terrorism on a scale that we have not seen since the time of Ferdinand Marcos.

We express our unqualified disappointment with the Arroyo government which has yet to express any hint of concern for the fate of these students.
We call on the Arroyo administration to mobilize its resources to assist in the recovery of these students.

We call on all sectors to join us in condemning forced disappearances, extra-judicial killings, and all forms of state-sponsored terror.

We call on all Filipinos to guard and honor human rights and human dignity that we fought for so valiantly at the cost of so many lives.

Concerned University Student Council Alumni, University of the Philippines, Diliman:

Abraham Rey Acosta, USC 1995-96
Grace Afuang, USC 1997-98
Rhona Agtay, USC 1995-96
Gigo Alampay, USC 1984-85
Gidget Alikpala, USC 1987-88
Almahdi “Aldean” Alonto, USC 2000-01
Tita Aquino, USC 1991-92
Jonas Bagas, USC 1997-98
Gay Bemeza, USC 1987-88
Marichu M. Bernardo, USC 1998-99
Ryan Cablitas, USC 1996-97
Percival Cendaña, USC 1995-96, USC 1996-97, USC 1997-98
Angelico Clerigo, USC 1998-99, USC 1999-2000
Forsyth Cordero, USC 2000-2001
Jed M. Eva III, USC 1995-96
Carlo Fabregas, USC 1997-98
JJ Fernandez, USC 1987-88, USC 1988-89
Chito Gascon, USC 1985-86
Dorothea Lazaro, USC 1998-99
Vincent Lazatin, USC 1986-87
Emil A. Liwanag, USC 1998-99
Cielo Magno, USC 1997-98, USC 1998-99, USC 1999-2000
Eyron Buera Magtibay, USC 1999-2000
Norman F. Manguinao, USC 1998-99, USC 1999-2000
Mardi Mapa-Suplido, USC 1985-86, USC 1986-87
Kate Natividad, USC 1998-99
Ramby Nolido, USC 1987-88
Len Pagalanan, USC 1998-99
Raymond Palatino, USC 1998-99, USC 2000-01
Liberty M. Palomo, USC 2000-01
GlennMark C. Pamplona, USC 1995-96, USC 1997-98
Kiko Pangilinan, USC 1985-86, USC 1986-87
Bien Peñaranda, USC 1999-2000
Aaron Karl D. Pundol, USC 1997-98, USC 1998-99
Charmaine G. Ramos, USC 1991-92
Nova Rellosa, USC 1989-90
Gil de los Reyes, USC 1985-86
Arnold Cesar O. Romero, USC 1999-2000
Katheryn Rualo, USC 1999-2000
J. Edward San Juan, USC 2000-01
Jill Santos, USC 1998-1999, 2006-2007
Raymond Sebastian, USC 1999-2000
Camille Sevilla, USC 1985-86
Grace Simbulan, USC 1997-98
Giovanni Tapang, USC 1990-91, USC 1993-94
Monette Velarde, USC 1999-2000

BALI-BALITA ni Edel Garcellano

2006-07-30T16:10:00.000-07:00

reprinted from: www.tigilpaslang2.blogspot.com

Noong i-text sa akin ng isang guro ang tungkol sa mga nawawalang estudyante sa Bulacan, hindi ko malaman ang aking daramahin: araw-araw sandamukal na balita ang aking nababasa at napapakinggan, at itong mistulang desaparecidos sa ating panahon – luma na marahil sapagka’t mula’t mula pa sa rehimen ni Marcos ito’y ulit-ilit nang pinangangambahan – ay waring hindi na ito tumimo sa aking isipan. Sino sila? Bakit nga raw dinukot? Alam ko na rin naman ang sagot sa istoryang ito: tiyak na mga tao ng estado ang nagpasimuno, mga sintomas wika nga ng mga dapat ilihim at isiwalat sa publikong lipunan na gumagalaw sa kumpas ng iilan: iyong mga nakakotse’t sekretarya, kasunod ang mga hagad na escort at agresibong kumakaway, tabi! tabi! may lakad kami!

At sa telebisyon mo nga maririnig ang pakiusap ng isang ina: sana ay makita na ang aking anak, birthday nya sa makalawa, ang presidente ay isa ring ina, sana ay magawan ng paraan ito, sana...Ang tv screen ay babalik sa broadcaster, sa ibang dako naman...Luma na ang mga eksena: sa Arhentina ang mga naulila ay magpu-prusisyon upang ipaalala sa unti-unting lumilimot ang mga malagim na pangyayari, alalaumbaga’y pilit na binubuhay ang mga pangalan at mukha sa mga taong nakatulala, nakatingin, at humihinga ng malalim upang kagyat muling bumalik sa kanilang ginagawa: huntahan ng Eat Bulaga, mga tanong sa Deal or No Deal ni Kris Aquino o magkamot ng alipunga na nababad na naman sa baha.

Ang ingay ng ulan ay bubuhusan pa ng mga ingay ng mga radyo at tawanan sapagkat iyon ang napapala ng mga pakialamero yang mga erehe sa gobyerno o yung sobrang mag-isip kaya nakukursunadahan ng mga heneral na nagtatrabaho lamang upang panatilihin ang kapayapaan sa loob ng tahanan sa palengke sa kalsada sa ilang na pook sa buong kabayanan.

Ano ang kanilang kasalanan? Ilang talaan ba na ng nadisgrasya ang kaniyang natunghayan buhat nang siya’y magbinata sa Maynila at ngayo’y namumuti na ang buhok sa kaiisip ng pera sa pamantasan, ganito pa rin hanggang ngayon? Ilan na ba sa mga kakilala – malayo o malapit - ay di na nya nabalitaan pa at kung mabalitaan man ay may sukob ng lagim ang mga kwentong maririnig.

Ilan daang taon na bang nangyayari ito: ang bumalikwas na naliligo sa malamig na pawis kung may kakatok sa pinto sa oras na wala namang inaasahang darating o makakasalubong ang isang tao nananinipat ng tingin at ika’y kagyat na iiwas sa pagsulyap sapagkat baka isang peligrosong engkwentro ito.

Malaki na ang mga bata. Silang nalahian na rin ng takot ng matatanda ay bagkus ngayong tumatahak sa daang kanyang iniiwasan. Marahil sa kanilang panahon ito ngayon ang nararapat gawin. Marahil anuman ang mangyayari, inisip nilang baka pagsisihan sa dakong huli ang di pagsunod sa kutob at lohika ng nararapat sa mundo.

Ganun nga siguro. Ang kinabukasan ay nililigiran ng mga bangkay ng mga berdugo ng kapitalismo at mangingibig ng hustisya at karapatan.

=========
Edel Garcellano teaches at the University of the Philippines-Diliman

The Running Man

2006-07-27T05:08:00.000-07:00

26 July 2006
metrica, manila

Under the scorching heat of the sun, I found myself rubbing elbows with the tubaw-wearing youth on the grounds of Senate. Bored of being bum for weeks, I was in the process of “soul-searching” when I got drawn in to these people’s grasp of reality. Anyway their ideas weren’t too big to take in as I could easily identify with the evil effects of the whopping budget slash in education sector.

Though-looking as I am but I would not deny that at that time, I felt boneless, especially upon catching a glimpse of the marines who looked hell-bent in wiping us off the earth. Sitting prettily while alternately digesting my sandwich and the heart-warming, temperature-rising speeches of the mass leaders, piles of bodies hurled into mine. Blood started to taint the ground as the men in uniform thrashed us to death. The throng was in complete disarray.

I was struggling to get out of the mesh of bodies when someone grabbed me and escorted me towards a safer place. Exactly after she hauled me, blows of truncheon hammered right on the nail where I was ensnarled.

I learned that that girl was Sherlyn, a representative to the University Student Council of the University of the Philippines-Diliman. She had been actively participating in mobilizations, and had developed an instinct in situations such as these.

With my regular stay in Vinzons Hill where Sherlyn was also a tambay, I found out that she was the one who was edged out by the controversial Nancy Navalta in a race. She was a university athlete. Among the tambay, Sherlyn was also popular for her dance step, a sort of “The Running Man” infused with whatever-you-wanna-call-it steps. This “The Sherlyn Cadapan Dance Step” required a lot of intense muscle flexes that no one has dared to follow or imitate.

While she dances gracefully and automatically turns into a horse when running, Sherlyn works like a dog. She has never wavered in her commitment. Yet, though serious, she has never missed to inject fun to her work. In deed, she could transform a prayer meeting into a party, or a market.

Knowing how deeply entrenched Sherlyn is to her commitment, I was not waylaid when one day, she just shook our hands, packed her bag and went out the door. I knew where she was leading to, and I never had a doubt about her decision.

I haven’t seen Sherlyn since then. Until her face flashed on the television screen. She was abducted by the military, being singled out as a terrorist.

Gen. Jovito Palparan, who was acknowledged by Pres. Arroyo in her last State of the Nation Address for his achievement in restoring “peace and order” in the country, was quick to validate the abduction. He said that the military has enough evidence that pinpoint Sherlyn, along with Karen Empeno and Manuel Merino to have linked with the New People’s Army. Whatever these proofs are, however, everyone knows the track record of Palparan for vamping up stories and accusations to gorge his fondness of mercilessly killing suspicious individuals.

Still uneasy and beleaguered by these recent developments, no disclaimer can ditch the fact that the series of abduction and killings only means one thing: the Arroyo government is in full battle gear to flex its muscle to the people going against its interest. Everyone is subjected to suspicion, knowing how paranoid this government is, which could lead to abduction, incarceration and even death.

Sherlyn is just a person whose only passion is to provide genuine service to the underprivileged being neglected by the government. Hers is a work so modest and noble that she is well-loved by the people. Tagging her terrorist is false and malicious.

For a terrorist is someone whose passion is to sow fear among the people. Expert in employing goons, gold and guns, he is determined to defeat everyone just to advance his stake. He has resorted to using all the dirty tricks such as tagging some individuals “terrorist”. A terrorist is shunned by the people.

With the statistics and records staring straightly to us, we know who the real terrorist is.

Breaking the Barriers

2006-07-21T05:39:00.000-07:00

05 December 2005
metrica, manila

About a year ago, the town was in total shambles. Calamities came one after the other, seemingly never-ending, wreaking havoc to the once pristine and placid town of Dingalan. Loss of lives, as well as loss of properties was beyond compare, making the already beleaguered people hopeless and helpless to go on living. For them, life would never be the same again.

After a year, Dingalan is now on its way to full recovery. Reconstruction and rehabilitation are being carried through to bring back the glory of the town. With sheer determination, the people have come together to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. Through this unity and collective action, the town is now inching towards progress.

Brgy Butas na Bato, like any to other place in Dingalan, bore witness to the nature’s wrath. Indeed, it was one of the most devastated. And, akin to the other communities, from the remnants and vestiges of the aftermath, it is now in the process of restoration.

Brgy Butas na Bato lies at the outskirts of the town proper. A depressed area, it has a significant number of people who are mostly making their ends meet through fishing and farming. Majority of them are living below the poverty level. With the very limited resources, their quest for a better life is still elusive as their development is still at the minimum pace.

For the inhabitants of Brgy Butas na Bato, patching up the irreparable damage caused by the tragedy is not attained overnight; it takes years to do so. Hence, for the entire community to move on and to improve its miserable living condition, a comprehensive and wide-ranging plan for a long time solution is a mission to fulfill.

The course to secure their future is indeed a long and winding road. Every step must be done systematically, in a highly organized manner, with utmost care. Otherwise, their initial bold steps that are now taking place would be in vain.

In order to ward off the impediments that may crop up along the way to their goal, a strong, solid and stable foundation should be firmly built, as it is their best defense to any tragedy that may furiously strike them again. So, the most crucial and critical undertaking is to put up the most resistant and resilient pillar, the decent education of their children.

But their dismal situation slows down the establishment and stability of this underpinning. Chief of the huge problems is the glaring lack of conducive learning atmosphere.

There is no school within this thickly populated community. The nearest school is located at the town proper, which is two kilometers away from this place. This requires the children, whose ages range from 6-12, an hour and half walk, enduring the scorching heat of the sun and the heavy drenching of the rain. Since the daily P40 tricycle fare is too much to afford for their families, they have no choice.

During the rainy season, the sight of these children going to classes is even more depressing. Oftentimes, they arrive at their classes soaking wet and even mud-spattered. And since the flood already washed away the bridge that was once the link between their place and the town proper, they brave crisscrossing the rising and rushing water of a huge river just to make it to the school. Before their classes end, most of them are ill and unwell.

This concrete condition deters these children to carry on their education. In fact, there is an annual downward trend of the enrolment of students in the area as the number of dropouts continues to shoot up. This deprives these children of their right to an accessible and decent education.

Unless this problem is worked out, the future of Brgy Butas na Bato is in the state of ambiguity.

It is in this situation that the people of Brgy Butas na Bato are once again soliciting for our help to make their dreams come true. Their request is simple and modest: to assist them in providing a good education to their children by putting up a primary school within the bounds of their community.

The establishment of a primary school will not only be a vital contribution to the restoration of the place but will also be a great leap forward to the fulfillment of people’s vision. This will encourage their children to acquire better learning, making them ready in assuming important role for their bright future.

The people of Brgy Butas na Bato have pinned their hope to us. As a first bold step, let us not deny them of their request and provide concrete conditions that will pave the way to the fulfillment of their pursuit for a better life.

Writing 30

2006-07-21T02:50:00.000-07:00

tuesday,
17 november 2005
sampaloc, manila

And now, the newsmakers have taken the headline.

Sick and tired of her consistent bad image and poor projection, Pres. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo has resorted to lambasting the media for its espousal to bad boy image. Speaking before seasoned journalists and media practitioners, she lectured them on how to be fair and square in carrying out the five W’s and H of reporting.

The president’s bitter criticism to media is explicable, especially now that her political survival is on highly dangerous ground. Indeed, in her speech, she exhorted the media not to be used as “pawns in political games and destabilization schemes,” but to be messengers of “positive news” about “a nation on the verge of economic takeoff.” She even encouraged it to hook up with her administration in molding the “destiny of this republic for the good of the greater number.”

The speech is an obvious intrusion to the independence of media. It is reminiscent of the way the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos handled the press – state propagandists. She wants every story to be warped to prop up good image to her constituents, a desperate attempt to cling to power. She coerces the media to close its eyes in pursuit of justice, to keep its mouth shut in accounting the reality. She is muddling up the truth with myth.

A muzzled press is tantamount to a muzzled public. To deny the press of the fact is to deprive the people of their right to be informed. There can be no press freedom if journalists exist in conditions of fear, threat and violence – conditions that are real and rampant in the country, being perpetrated by those who have the monopoly of gold, goons and guns. Neither can there be genuine democracy in a country whose citizens exist in the same conditions.

To further seduce the media, Arroyo bragged about her accomplishment in providing an environment decent in validating the calling of journalists – a twist of fact indeed for it is during her presidency that the Philippines was singled out as the most murderous and most dangerous place for media people. She appears to be completely oblivious of the statistics and fashion of killings of journalists, totally ignorant of the fact that cases have been unresolved, that the murderers are all scot-free.

The president’s intimidation of media, along with her calibrated preemptive response and militarization policies, only bears out that the Arroyo government is now taking up the Marcosian way of holding on to power. It is state terrorism at its best, in the most appalling manner, cowing the people to stand up for their beliefs and conviction and transforming them into mere blind followers. It is the creation of kingdom – or queendom – out of lies, apathy, deceit, dishonesty and injustice. It is reign of terror.

As Arroyo fritters away no time in making it to the headline, the people, having grown tired of her indifference, incapability and ineffectiveness, have her in the obituary of their hearts and minds. With this another lapse of judgment, her political career is writing 30. #

the flying sexy girl

2006-07-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

01 july 2006
makati

One thing about Nanen: she has never failed to surprise us. At a single period of time, she could be dead serious perfecting the assigned tasks to her while unleashing her prowess to make us laugh – or cry or get irritated. Schizophrenic she is not; she has just a gift to instinctively shift from one character to another that could spontaneously transform us into laughing hyenas or combust us into raging bulls.

But beyond her colorful personality lies the true color of Nanen. Deep down in her heart, she is true and tried to her commitment. Her immersion to the real world tightens her grip to what she believes in. She would defy the pull of gravity to make sure that she presses on her principles and passion.

That was how Nanen has steeled in her resolve. I was not caught unawares at all when she announced that she decided to go beyond the four corners of her classroom to give way to her undying passion to go among the hapless and the helpless.

It was the last time we talked about it seriously. Still, she has not missed surprising me of her texts and messages. In her texts, she is still the same Nanen that I used to know, my housemate, officemate and friend.

Until I heard the news that Nanen was abducted by the military in a village where she has devoted her life. My reaction was obscure and indefinable, for Nanen was not only too frail to do that, her work is much more noble and dignified than those who are in the power. She was charged with fabricated cases.

I don’t know what has pushed the army in abducting Nanen. What is clear now is that the army and the government are too paranoid now that they would resort in these activities just to make sure that no one would go against their interest. And for some reason, they think Nanen is one of them.

That must be the exact explanation why, aside from Nanen, they still continue to pick on people who they think threaten the already wobbling government. Faces of Cris Hugo, the Maco Four, several journalists, and endless names of faceless people stream in my mind. They are victimized of the paranoia of this government.

But they are not the only ones who are victims here. We are also sufferers, being browbeaten and cowed by this government by exhibiting its expertise in the use of gold, goons and guns. We are being tamed by the sight of the pile of bodies, of the blood that spills in the broad of the day and in the dead of the night. We are the losers.

I don’t know what happens to Nanen now. But whatever will it be (which I hope would be better), I still envy Nanen. She is able to arrive at life she has always wanted, without compromise or concession. And she has surprised the hell out of me for being able to do that.

A Brazen Act of Violence

2006-07-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

09 november 2005
sampaloc, manila

The twists and turns of events bring the nation back to its darkest days. Already trapped in dire economic woes and political turmoil, it is being dragged along the way of reimposition of Martial Law with the full-scale implementation of the " calibrated preemptive response" (CPR).

The CPR is Malacanang's solution to the intensifying crisis. In sheer desperation to put the country out of disorder, the government has resorted to use 'muscle' to defeat anyone going against its interests. It has vowed to quash any group that attempts to bring down the Arroyo administration, avowing that it is for the good of the country.

Unambiguously, this is akin to the toppled Pres. Ferdinand Marcos's brand of leadership. This is a recycled but heightened version of Martial Law - a blatant use of force to oblige the people to rally behind the government.

Amid the government's claim that it is working within the framework of democracy, the CPR is an obvious suppression of freedom of speech to its truest sense. The suspension of 'maximum tolerance' and the ban of street protests and political activities are as good as the deprivation of people's basic right to stand up for their beliefs and conviction. It is tantamount to the suspension of writ of habeas corpus and the open declaration of martial law.

In promoting economic and political stability, it glorifies the use of guns and other forms of brutality. It breeds a culture of violence to sow terror to the already traumatized Filipino people. It means loss of lives, harrassment and political repression in the most appalling and scandalous manner, converting the country into a combat zone and killing field.

Indeed, even before the implementation of the CPR, the Arroyo government has already accumulated a whopping record of human rights violations. In its four years in power, it has turned the country into a slaughter house where killing is common to crop up in the light of the day and the dead of the night. It has mounted up more than 3000 cases of illegal arrests, summary executions, massacres and forced disappearances that involve more than 100,000 victims, surpassing the record set by Marcos during Martial Law.

With the surfacing of CPR, Filipino people has no guarantee that human rights violations will not be committed. Given the expertise of the present administration to deliberately use gold, goons and guns for the sake of advancing its interests, a blood spill is always a possibility.

Yet, no matter how the Arroyo government projects itself, the implementation of CPR only bears out its desperation to cling to power. This is a sign of weakness, and not of strength, an indication that it is now trembling to its knees at the sight of the swelling waves of protests capable of overthrowing it from supremacy.

Armed with the lessons from their bitter experience of the past, the Filipino people know how to deal with this present situation. Having grown tired of the endless economic miseries brought about by the government's neoliberal policies, they understand that the implementation of CPR would only make them more hopeless in their quest for a decent and humane living and a bright future.

In these times of chronic economic and political crisis, it has become more glaring to them that ousting Arroyo is not just an option but a MUST. In these times of brazen acts of violence, to sit down is to lose the only right left to them.

Education for Sale

2006-07-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

The Further Commodification of Education through GATS

Still suffering from its continuously worsening state, the Philippine education is up for another battle with its inclusion to General Agreement on Trade and Services (GATS). In the guise of a corporatized, world-class education, the crisis-ridden education sector has now opened all its way to a free enterprise directly controlled by the World Trade Organization (WTO).

GLOBALIZING EDUCATION

"Free trade" in education services has been flourishing since the formal promulgation of GATS in 1994. Education service, a springboard for a more potent free trade, was one of the explicit topics in the international trade meetings that led to the creation of the WTO in 1995.

Since trade talks spiraled among trading powers prior to WTO's ministerial conference in Seattle, education and other social services were among the extensions of the term of GATS. This round of table talks, however, collapsed due to protests inside and outside the conference.

In January 2000, new negotiations on GATS were successfully stirred under the "built in" agenda of WTO, which secretly dealt with GATS expansion even without a comprehensive round. As conceived, GATS is designed to "cover not just cross-border trade but every possible means of supplying a service, including the right to set up a commercial presence in the export market."

Major proponent of the GATS term expansion is the United States, which clearly stated its goal in purely economic terms: trade barriers bound by internal trade policies encompassing different public services hurt US-led corporations and were therefore barriers to American exports and job creation.

It spearheaded a draft to "create conditions favorable to suppliers of higher education, adult education and training services" by "removing and reducing obstacles" - subsidies for higher educational adult education and training, and tax treatment that discriminates foreign suppliers - to transmission of such services across national borders through electronic and physical means, or to the establishment and operation of facilities (i.e. classrooms, schools or offices.)

Member nations under WTO that adhere to the GATS program abide by two principles: the national treatment principle, which states that members should not discriminate in favor of national providers, and the most-favored nations principle, which states that members should not discriminate between different member nations.

GATS encompasses a wide array of commitment in education - from preschool to tertiary and vocational educational services. With barriers now scrapped, cross-border supply of a service of a member country to another is now feasible. Students can easily study in another country through the exchage-student system, while education service providers from a country can now set up establishments in another member-nation tax-free. "Home study system," "virtual unversities" and "correspondence schools" are also made possible through GATS.

Utilizing GATS for greater privatization of the public sector, particularly the education and health, US companies are now smoothly penetrating and monopolizing these services in support of a galvanized foreign education and easy workforce. Reportedly, US generated $6.6 B trade surplus in its educational and training services export sector in 1996.
UNEDUCATING AND MISEDUCATING EDUCATION

Constantly in need of a sufficient budget, Philippine education is vulnerable to the promises of GATS. With past and present administrations always doling out meaget budgets, the education sector is being pushed for a greater funding from private resources.

Since 1998, 154 state-funded schools have already closed down due to insufficient budget. Facing extinction, many public schools have either merged with other institutions or have engaged in tie-ups with private corporations.

These circumstances are along the line of GATS. Adhering to this neoliberal prescription, the government has ensured that education policies are working within the bounds of privatization, liberalization and deregulation, which are the focal points of GATS. In Long-Term Higher Education Development Plan, for instance, the government forces 70 percent of State Universities and Colleges to privatize by 2010.

While GATS assures a globally-attuned education, it does not ensure a better education and a bright future for the Filipino youth. In fact, since the implementation of GATS, the education has become more elusive to many Filipino youth.

Liberalization and deregulation under GATS give pretext for schools to raise tuition and other miscellaneous fees almost three-folds annually. Privatization of many public schools drive students to leave their classrooms.

Already, 74 percent have dropped out this year because education has become out of reach to them.Under the "borderless education, knowledge economy and level playing field competition," foreign and local corporations are freely entering and filling in the meager budget of schools, as in the case of the University of the Philippines-Ayala Corporations tie-up.Yet, this only makes the schools susceptible to the control and dictate of the private corporations, if not fully corporatized.

The intensification of the commercialization of education shows that the government is taking its hands off in providing a decent and accessible education for the people. Within the framework of GATS, education has already ceased to become a right; it has turned into a commodity only the affluent few can afford. This is in blatant contrast with Article 26 of the United Nation's Declaration of Human Rights which states that "access to higher education is a right."

As in the Revised Basic Education Curriculum, GATS has also impelled a bold change in the curricula and courses -- now designed according to the standards and demands of the global market. This results in the strengthening of the colonial character of the Philippine education, primarily serving the interests of other countries instead of ours. Caregiving, vocational and technical curricula and courses are also encouraged with the labor export in demand to the global arena. These institutions train the youth not to become leaders or managers but to be docile, semi-skilled workers who are submissive and passive to exploitation in foreign lands.

REAL MOTIVE

The implementation of GATS in recent years proves that it does not work in the concrete condition of our society. It has failed to uplift the dismal state of education, but has rather worsened the vicious cycle of crisis of education.

Unambiguously, GATS is not responsive to the needs of the people and the country. It has produced 'modern-day slaves' by uneducating and miseducating the Filipino youth.

By intensifying privatization, liberalization and deregulation in education, GATS has only benefited and has strengthened the power of the capitalist-educators and private corporations who are hell-bent in making more money out of education.

Clearly, globalization of education is not about the exchange of learning between countries but of capital, of making profit by commodifying education.

Unless GATS is discarded, the colonial and commerialized state of education will still abound. And in the upcoming WTO ministerial conference in Hong Kong this December, the Filipino youth can expect no less but a bleaker future.*